Sorry to Bug You All, But...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Sorry to Bug You All, But...
5
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 6:45pm

I hate to be a pest, but...

Why do you think he gently cupped my face in his hands? Do you think he was 'feeling me out' AKA: "testing the waters" so-to-speak? Y'know, to see how I respond - if I'm interested in him?

God, I've been reliving that mushy moment in my mind for days now! I can't shake the thought and can't get him out of my mind. Is this normal?

(For those of you who are in the dark, I am referring to my last topic, "Is My Dentist Flirting With Me?")

Something is telling me that maybe he is interested. However, another part of me (more so) is doubtful, and believes that maybe he's just a really caring doctor... (?)

I'm going back on June 22 to have my teeth cleaned and then have him check-up the work he did to make sure there's no complications, etc. Arrrrggg I can't wait that long. I'm crushing big-time, here. :o(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 7:19pm

Hi!!
I have no clue about what the dentist thinks. But I do know that not knowing is half the fun. Meanwhile, just enjoy being in a crush. Only time will unravel the mystery.

Enjoy!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 8:27pm

Thanks for the response! :o)

You pose an excellent point. However, the only problem is why would I want to waste my time crushing on a (very hot) guy who MAY or MAY NOT share the same feelings?

I hate crushes. I'd rather have a 'real' relationship w/ someone, not hoping/wishing/thinking/praying about it. Should I just come out & tell him I'm crushing on him, and tell him how it melted me when he cupped my face in his hand?

...Or should I just continue to flirt w/ him? I mean, I really wasn't flirting w/ him when I gave him the hug the first time. That was innocent.

It was on the next visit, when I realized he was trying to give me a hug (but backed off for whatever reason) that I started crushing on him. The next visit after that, I hugged him because everything was done, and yeah, because I felt bad for missing out on his hug the last time. So, I hugged him, sort of flirtation, but mostly out of gladness that my teeth were done. *blush* Then he cupped my face in his hand. *dreamy sigh* (Now that I remember correctly, the 2nd hug and the "cupping" were actually in the same visit).

God help me, this is torture! lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 11:22am

From the ADA's code of ethics:

"Dentists should avoid interpersonal relationships that could impair their professional judgement or risk the possibility of exploiting the confidence placed in them by patients."

So if he has any ethics, no, he's not going to date you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 3:36pm

Thanks for your response. What if he told me he did, indeed, have feelings for me? Would that make him a louse? I mean, I don't see why it would be "so wrong" to fall in love with a patient. Love happens, and it doesn't care where it's proverbial arrow strikes. You fall in love with whoever you fall in love with (or crush).

I guess the worst-case scenario would be that he woud confess his feelings towards me, but refer me to another dentist? Not that I plan on this happening, but now that "ethics" are being brought into the picture... Anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 9:26am

<<>>

No, it wouldn't. But ACTING on those feelings would be a violations of ethics. I personally wouldn't get involved with someone who couldn't even manage to stick to professional ethics.

<<>>

I don't think we are talking about love here - admittedly a crush or attraction on your part, and you don't know what on his part. Doesn't mean either one of you should act on those feelings.

And yes, people of honor can control who they fall in love with. You could be attracted to a married man - would you throw the blame at Cupid's door and go through with pursuing him and "love" - because you can't "help" who you fall in love with? I doubt it - I think you would behave morally and move on.

<<>>

No - it would be up to you to terminate the dr./patient relationship first. Then you could approach him with your interest in him.