So..there's this married guy at work....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
So..there's this married guy at work....
7
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 8:23pm

Thought that'd get your attention. hehee


Let me say in advance, that no way, ever, would I have an affair..I am 39yrs old..and that has been one vow in life that I have stuck with. So, please don't lecture me on that....I just wanted to throw this on the table and get your opinions-


I am just very curious..there is a guy that transferred to my area from a different shift...and I didn't know who he was at first...and then he asked me if he could help me move some boxes one day..very sweet...and he caught my eye...but what really struck me is he was VERY OBVIOUS over the next week or two in checking me out...flirting..I would see him staring at me from half way across the plant we work at.......so I thought that he MIGHT ACTUALLY BE SINGLE...........WOW- I was so giddy..and excited...he was soo cute..and such a sweetheart...beautiful smile, great personality..etc.............


Then, WHAM........about 3 weeks into the daily flirting.....I found out he was married....bc I am an Admin..and someone called me to give him a message that the T-shirts were ready for him to pick up for he and his WIFE...for a habitat for humanity project they volunteered for.


Ughhh.......I was sooo devastated......but of course, it's MY LUCK...so it didn't surprise me much at all.....lol


I JUST DON'T GET IT.......I mean, he wasn't "sleazy" in his flirting like some married men can be....but it was so obvious that he was checking me out...and showing interest..............WHAT WAS HIS POINT??? I don't think he wanted to cheat on his wife.....


I have since talked to someone who has known him and his wife for years....and she said as far as she knew they were happily married....that he is a super nice person...etc...not a sleazebag..........


Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 8:32pm

The simple answer is that he flirts because he can.

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:17pm

Wow, is this a familiar story!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:59pm

Hi,


I find the phenomenon of married men checking out/flirting with other women not uncommon. I think it's their need for validation that they're still attractive. As a rule women don't flirt with married men so the married men have to do some flirting to feel more alive.


OTOH, there are people who are just flirtatious by nature so it doesn't matter whether they're married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 8:45am

Yeah, I guess it's the "I'm married, but not dead" thing...he worked the night shift where there were No women..and then suddenly here is a single, pretty girl that he sees daily. Not to brag..but I stick out like

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 8:53pm
Oooh, yeah, your story sounds familiar! I had almost the exact thing happen to me earlier this year. Sucks doesn't it? This guy was flirting with me, showing interest, and I, of course, considering how attracted to him I was, flirted back. I was giddy, and had a huge crush on him. It never even crossed my mind that he could be married. He didn't wear a wedding ring either. Someone mentioned that he is married, and my jaw dropped. From that point on, I just pretended I didn't notice any flirting, and ignored him.
I think some guys don't plan on cheating, but they will sure flirt for the thrill of it. Then there are the other camp of guys who would take it too far and actually cheat. Personally, I want nothing to do with that, and didn't even want to know which camp he is in. LOL.. So once I found out he was married, I moved on.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 9:54pm
I have a similar situation right now. I work with a guy who's blatantly married - wears a ring, talks about his wife and young kids a lot. Working on the same account, we've gotten to know each other and we're friendly. There's a little bit of an attraction (not someone I would be attracted to by looking at him, but getting to know him, it's grown), partially because I think he seems like someone who is honest and has a lot of integrity. But I would NEVER act on it. Lately, he's been staring at me a little too long, sitting closer to me than he should, just acting differently and it really freaks me out. I think he's pretty happily married and probably wouldn't act on it, but he's being pretty bold. I'm genuinely shocked by it. It's probably just that needing to feel attractive to other women thing. But man, you never know - his wife probably has no idea!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 1:36pm
I really don't get the married men who don't wear rings. I might understand if he has a physical job - like mechanic or something, where it would get in the way. Other than that, I don't think they have any excuse. Wear a ring, darnit, so the rest of us know you're married. Saves everyone a lot of hassle - oh, and it shows your wife that you're actually proud to be with her. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.