Sour Grapes?
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Sour Grapes?
| Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:57am |
Last night I tried to let a guy down easy. He wanted a relationship and I didn't (we went on about 3 dates). He asked why and I was honest: 1) he is a smoker, I am not 2) I find that he is often impatient and forceful when he does not get his way and 3) his use of words bothers me. Basically #3 consisted of him saying to me one day: "You have nice tits". I was wearing a low cut top at the time. He said tits not breasts..tits. That simple sentence left me feeling dirty and turned off.
So I have him those three reasoons why I couldn't have a relationship with him and he defended #3. He claimed I was being irrational and that he said that to countless women and they didn't mind.
I have polled my girlfriends and they did not like the term. What do the girls on the board think? Am I being irrational? Do you find the sentence "you have nice tits" flattering?
So I have him those three reasoons why I couldn't have a relationship with him and he defended #3. He claimed I was being irrational and that he said that to countless women and they didn't mind.
I have polled my girlfriends and they did not like the term. What do the girls on the board think? Am I being irrational? Do you find the sentence "you have nice tits" flattering?

Nope, I have to agree with you.
He is crass and that is a turnoff for me too. It wouldn't have been so bad if he said that, say 6 months down the line while you too are wrapped in each other's arms in a steamy, hot embrace, but to say that to a woman you barely know, to me is immature and out of taste.
The fact that he's said it to many other women just makes it worse.
Good for you!
It's not just the use of words (which I find pretty offensive also), but the fact that he obviously has no respect for you at this point if he thinks it's okay to compliment something so personal.
First I agree with the other poster, it does not matter what others think, it only matters what you think.
Second, I think it is pointless to give reasons why someone does not want to spend time with the other unless the other truly wants to learn from it rather than try to argue or defend himself. "I don't think we are a match and I believe it is irrelevant to explain my decision for it is a matter of preference."
Mark
"Do you find the sentence "you have nice tits" flattering? "
That is a big HELL no!