Sour Grapes?

Avatar for cute_queen
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sour Grapes?
7
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:57am
Last night I tried to let a guy down easy. He wanted a relationship and I didn't (we went on about 3 dates). He asked why and I was honest: 1) he is a smoker, I am not 2) I find that he is often impatient and forceful when he does not get his way and 3) his use of words bothers me. Basically #3 consisted of him saying to me one day: "You have nice tits". I was wearing a low cut top at the time. He said tits not breasts..tits. That simple sentence left me feeling dirty and turned off.
So I have him those three reasoons why I couldn't have a relationship with him and he defended #3. He claimed I was being irrational and that he said that to countless women and they didn't mind.
I have polled my girlfriends and they did not like the term. What do the girls on the board think? Am I being irrational? Do you find the sentence "you have nice tits" flattering?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
In reply to: cute_queen
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:14pm
It doesn't really matter if other people like the term or not -- you didn't like it, and you are looking for someone who is right for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: cute_queen
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:47pm
I would expect that kind of comment from Howard Stern, or some skanky guy standing on the street corner harassing women passing by, but not from a man I am on a date with. He should not make any mention of my breasts AT ALL,let alone refer to them with that sort of slang. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cute_queen
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 8:33am

Nope, I have to agree with you.

He is crass and that is a turnoff for me too. It wouldn't have been so bad if he said that, say 6 months down the line while you too are wrapped in each other's arms in a steamy, hot embrace, but to say that to a woman you barely know, to me is immature and out of taste.

The fact that he's said it to many other women just makes it worse.

Good for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: cute_queen
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 10:44am
I don't think you are irrational. It's clear he had nothing else on his mind if the only compliment he could pay after 3 dates is "You have nice tits".
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cute_queen
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 2:40pm

It's not just the use of words (which I find pretty offensive also), but the fact that he obviously has no respect for you at this point if he thinks it's okay to compliment something so personal.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cute_queen
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 1:50am

First I agree with the other poster, it does not matter what others think, it only matters what you think.

Second, I think it is pointless to give reasons why someone does not want to spend time with the other unless the other truly wants to learn from it rather than try to argue or defend himself. "I don't think we are a match and I believe it is irrelevant to explain my decision for it is a matter of preference."

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: cute_queen
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:14am

"Do you find the sentence "you have nice tits" flattering? "


That is a big HELL no!