Stalkish Qualities???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Stalkish Qualities???
11
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 3:31pm

I am not sure how scared or not scared I should be in my situation. I dated this guy back in November. It lasted only three months because he ended up being a jerk. For those of you who probably remember, this is the one who gave me grief about wearing condoms, i.e. major red flag number 1!!! He put me down and when I confronted him, which was always immediately, he would say he was just kidding. He would also NEVER have me over to his place. Making it seem like, if he allowed a girl to come over, then she would always come over uninvited.

Anway, I broke up with him and ever since then, he has been either texting or emailing me. Asking me to Cubs games or telling me, "I still think we could have made it". The thing is, it has been five months since We have talked and he will not leave me alone. I don't respond to his messages at all.

So my question is, should this behavior worry me?? Does this behavior indicate something more dangerous??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 4:06pm

I would keep doing what you are doing ... ignore his messages and give him no attention. Yes, the behavior is

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 4:26pm

It could mean something more dangerous, but I dont think it does he just seems a little weird is all and if you keep ignoring him he should get the hint after a while.

Now if he shows up outside your window at night with night vision goggles, then I'd worry lol.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 6:13pm

As long as he keeps it to phone and email, I wouldn't worry too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 6:35pm

He also blocks his calls to see if I will pick up or to catch me off guard.

He has not proven to be the most stable person, which is what worries me the most. When we were ending the relationship, he texted me telling me HORRIBLE things, like I have a horrible crotch, I had more zits then a teenager which were all completely not true. Once I started to ignore him, is when all the texts and emails started.

I guess I just need to be more aware. As far as I can tell, he has not driven by my place or has been watching me. It is more of his persistence that is not normal and makes me wonder how long it is worth to him. I am taking this a harassment and he seems to be very careful about what he says to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:10pm

For whatever reason, Verizon will not let you block anyone. They say that is what caller ID is for. Go figure. And to think I am paying so much a month to be told what I can and can't do.

My email that he has is my work email and we don't have a blocking system either.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:16pm

Can you at least block him from texting you? Sprint allows me to do that on my cell phone, but not block calls.

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age your work email doesn't have a way of blocking. How do they handle spam? Have you talked to your IT department already?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:34pm

My work email that looks suspicious goes into a junk folder and lets you know when there is an email in there. I have to check it all the time because sometime work-related emails go in there, so to make this short, I can see every email that is being "blocked".

I should check on blocking the text messages, but would gather that it falls under the same category as the phone calls.

Whatever. He'll eventually stop if I ignore him long enough, right? That is what I keep telling myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 4:08am

Or if you want I could go kick his a**.

lol He'll get the hint most likely and if not after a few more months, then I would notify the police like shy said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:14pm

Well I know some guys are dense, so I guess we'll let this go on for a couple more months. Maybe seven months will be the charming month.

Otherwise, I'll have you call him and tell him you are my current boyfriend, who is actually a huge, jealous officer for the CPD :)

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:33pm

I would think completely ignoring someone is the best approach. Another way is to send him email back saying that you reported him to the authorities with his contact information and they are now monitoring your email, phone, and cell phone and that you turned all records over to them. To give it more credibilty you may want to refer to a real police officer, naming his/her name, precinct, and division. A bluff which is more risky than just ignoring him but I thought I'd share that.

BTW I wonder if this experience has turned your off from dating or meeting someone?

Good luck and take care,
Mark

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