Starting to get a little nervous

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Starting to get a little nervous
4
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 11:37am
Now that I'm down to 7 hours or so before I have dinner with the guy I met a few weeks back, I'm starting to get a little nervous about it. It was never made clear whether it was a date, but I took the advice given to me and dressed as if it is. I'm going straight from work, so it was really hard to figure out what to wear. Of course, it gave me a good excuse to go clothes shopping yesterday.

So, how will I figure out if he considers it a date? I invited him to dinner to "thank him for taking care of me while I was sick", so I'm planning to pay. But, if he tries to pay, would that mean that he sees our dinner as a date? Of course, as usual, I'm overanalyzing things. I know at the very least I'll have fun tonight, since I already know we get along well. Now to get rid of these nerves for the next 7 or so hours...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 11:51am
What works for me is to be as distracted as possible before the date - whether by work, friends, exercise, music - whatever you can do. Interesting question re: paying - which is often a sign that it "is" a date - I think it is more than fine if he lets you pay - you set it up that way and he shouldn't push since it is your "thank you gift" to him. I hate to say it but given the context you may not "know" until he calls you to ask you out for another date (unless he mentions something tonight). I agree that you should dress for a date (why not) but I guess you just have to wait and see - and we'll wait right here with you . . . . .. have FUN!!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 12:15pm
My fool-proof plan for getting rid of nerves is to jump up and down a whole lot. I guess that's every one else's version of going for a run before a date. Nerves are really just a buildup of adrenaline in your stomach, which makes you feel the way you do. If you do some physical activity, it gets rid of that adrenaline.

As for if he tries to pay, I'd probably mention that you asked him and you want to pay, but I wouldn't push it to far. I think you'll know if it's a date or not after you get into it.

I hope that you realize I expect a full update tomorrow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 1:33pm
Whoa Nelly! Don't get so worked up - you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. He may be thinking friendship. Remember, dress up like its a date...wait for him to pull out your chair, open the door, etc. Unless he's an idiot, he'll get the idea :) And if he's an idiot, you are too smart for him anyway!

You could also try my technique and go for direct honesty. Look him in the eyes and say, "I have a confession to make. I didn't just want to thank you for taking care of me...I wanted to get alone so I could get to know you better." Why not lay the cards on the table, no game playing? But thats my style...yours may be different...

Can't wait to hear how it goes...

Go.

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 3:34pm
I have much too great a fear of rejection to try your approach! It took more guts than I thought I had to even ask him to dinner in the first place.

He does remember that I offered to pay. I just called him to leave a message on his cell phone (thinking it'd be off because he was supposed to be on a plane, but it arrived early) to give him my work number, since my cell phone doesn't get great reception indoors. I was very surprised when he answered. We discussed where to go and he said that since it was my treat, I could pick. He did suggest Georgetown, but if we want to make it there in one piece and actually get the car parked (city driving and parallel parking are not my strong points), I'm going to ask him to drive. He wants to meet up at his place, so we'll only be taking one car. I just hope his roommate's (the one I originally thought I was interested in) not there when I arrive!