Still Dreaming About the Ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Still Dreaming About the Ex
4
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 12:38pm

Last night, I had a dream about my ex boyfriend and his new wife...again. In fact, I think I had two different dreams about them and their life together. This happens pretty frequently, as often as 2-3 a week at times. Sometimes it really upsets me and others not so much but for some reason I can't seem to get him completely off my mind.

We broke up a year and a half ago after being together 8 years and at the time we planned on marrying and starting a family together. He has been the only love I've ever known and my only committed relationship. It was a very nasty breakup and we haven't spoken since but I find that not a day goes by that he does not pop into my mind. I think that is because my dating life is non-existant and because my 8 years with him were my happiest and part of me just wishes I could have that again.

Can anyone relate...a little?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 1:04pm

I can absolutely relate. My one real heartbreak (we broke up 3 years ago) still haunts my dreams sometimes. He has been with someone new for about 2 years now and I have never seen her but a mutual friend described her and I find myself looking at women on the bus and at the gym who fit the description and wonder if that's what she looks like.

It doesn't stop me from dating and I really think that I am emotionally available, but it's there. I know that he asks about me too so I think that some people, no matter how things end, will always haunt you a little.

It will get better with time, though.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 7:10pm

I still think about my ex, too, and I have dreams with him in them occasionally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 8:14pm

Thanks for your response.

I also lost my father. It'll be 2 years on January 10th. I don't dream about him nearly as much as I hoped to.

But thanks for the thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Fri, 01-06-2006 - 9:04pm
Honey, you were with this guy for 8 years! There's nothing wrong with you dreaming about him at all. In time though, things will get easier. Also, since he's married, I am sure you can't help but wonder why it couldn't be you. I mean, you were with this guy for 8 years, broke up and within a year and a half, he's married to another woman. This woman is living the dream you once wanted with him. It got to hurt! I was so hot for a guy who after dating for a while decided that I wasn't the one. He left and married another woman in months. To say, I was hurt is an under statement. I still think about it and hurt everyday because I see him all the time. In your case, you said your breakup was nasty and you haven't seen each other since then. Probably you didn't get a chance to say the things you wanted to say. Probably, you are a little jealous that your love life hasn't pick up like his. There's nothing wrong having all these thoughts. Don't consider a year and a half as a long time to get over things because it's not. When your dating life picks up, hopefully, things will change. Somebody once told me that dreams are our subconcious thoughts. I don't know how true that is but at times, when you are thinking about somebody or something before you go to bed, it tends to show up in your dreams. Take it easy and in due time, all will be well. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. *Hugs*