Stop Looking, It'll Happen?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Stop Looking, It'll Happen?
18
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 9:33am

I know that for lots of people, they meet someone when they aren't actively looking. I know cause its happened for me. And yet, I feel compelled to look and actively put myself out there because i know when I'm not really looking, I never get dates.

I'm not one who is usually pursued (I guess they are intimidated or assume I'm taken), nor do i get approached by anyone above the young, horny-toads, so I feel like if I want to date, I have to really try and end of initiating things. The downside, is I end up pursuing things to and they don't ever pick up and pursue me back.

Any thoughts on this?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 7:12pm

It happens, but don't count on it. Years ago when I was in grad school, one Saturday afternoon I remember sitting in the recreation room of our university apartment complex, minding my own business, bothering nobody, and playing the piano magnificently like I always do. When I was almost done playing what I was playing, a woman tiptoed up to the piano and stood to my front leaning against the piano ( a Kawai grand - great sound, great touch but nowhere near a Steinway). I must have had my eyes closed during the last few bars as I was trying to focus and wanted to finish well. But when I opened , there she was --beautiful, gorgeous, radiant. An array of perfect teeth, a perfect smile, a dimple and hair just down past her shoulders. I was a little taken aback because it's not what I had expected to see.

But before I could say anything, she started, "Hi, I am . That was REALLY nice. What was it ?" I told her it was the Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin, Joplin's finest rag and one of the hardest to play. And then I introduced myself. "But you made it look so easy..". I shrugged and nodded in agreement. She laughed.

Thus began an almost 5 year relationship between R and myself.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Can relationships come out of nowhere and thrust themselves onto your face when you are not out looking ?

I will say it has happened before, but more than likely they will not.




Edited 6/26/2007 7:51 pm ET by fruitedplain
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 10:57pm

Actually, I do drive a Corolla!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:54am

See that was your opportunity to say "I wish I was the owner of the Corrolla so I could properly thank you with dinner"

*wink*

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:55am
Jinx! lol

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:33am
This has got to be up there with "you're so nice, why aren't you dating anyone?" as the most frustrating thing people say to me!
I decided to hedge my bets - I have a Match profile and I started to do things I always wanted to do, like learning to sail and climbing more often. I'm working under the principle that I'm getting out there bettering myself, and that is what attracts people. I'm not in hurry to get married and I don't want children, so I'm learning to take it as it comes.

~Heather~

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:41am

Like I could ever think of anything like that on the spot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:53am
Or, "why are you single?" "where's the boyfriend?" Nowhere! And I'm single because I CAN be...if I wanted to have someone just to have someone, I could! Like one of my guy friends said to me, wouldn't it make sense that if you had a lot going for you (as these people supposedly do), you could stand to be choosier?? I sometimes wonder if guys think they're being original or cute saying that....they're really not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:37am
Or, if you have a lot of male friends, and you're the shoulder they cry on, you get the "I wish I could meet a nice girl...like you." Um, hello? What gives? Am I not standing in front of you? *exasperated sigh* Now all those guys are married with kids.
I'll just take life as it comes at me. Que sera.

~Heather~

Pages