stuck up w/out realizing it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
stuck up w/out realizing it?
2
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 4:38pm

I hate admitting I am shy and I hate it when people call me shy but its what I am....

So it is because I am shy that I hesitate to talk to girls or make eye contact or make a move, or do anything else basically. But I feel this makes me come off as being stuck up or a bit of a jerk. Some examples recently...

There is a a new girl where I work who is really attractive, so whenever I shes around I look at her and check out whats she wearing that day, etc etc. Well the other day I looked at her and she looked up at me and locked eyes with me and gave me a big smile and I just quickly looked away and then walked away.

Another better example is another girl I work with who always used to come up to me and talk to me even though she doesnt work it my dept. and joke with me and laugh and touch my arm and stuff and all that light flirty stuff, and my usually awkward reaction was to just chuckle and nod and never really say much to her because I'm a horrible conversationalist(sp?). I always liked her too but now when I got the guts to say something to her shes really rude to me. I get the idea its because I am awkward around cute girls in a very rude way.

I just basically want an opinion of what women think...if you flirt with a guy or smile at him and he aviods you or your gaze...does it come off as shy or stuck up and rude?

I suspect stuck up and rude but I dont know much especially about women so I have to ask...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 4:43pm

I think a lot of times people interpret those of us who are shy as being stuck up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 4:57pm

Yeah I remember a thread where you posted how you dont go and dance with guys when you go out...kinda the same thing I guess so I completely agree with your feelings on this shy...however I would have to say it is worse for a guy to be like this then a woman because I am supposed to be the one with confidence and be the one who pursues and draws the shy girl out and gets her to have a good time and loosen up and....basically woo her lol.

I babble too much, anyway I try and try to look back and smile and be charming(and not creepy) but I cant unless I have a few beers in me. The eye contact and smile is easy all I need is to get over myself to do that but when it comes to conversation...I am at a loss for words all the time with everyone not just girls, but it is even worse with girls.

I am not good at introducing myself or approaching people and I dont know what to say other then a simply saying hi, and then.....I got nothing. What are some good ice breakers in these situations, not lame pick up lines but something that I can say besides "uhhhhhhh hi" lol.