Stupid things irk me
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| Sat, 06-17-2006 - 11:21pm |
I met this guy on plentyoffish.com about 3 months ago, and we've talked on and off since then, just casually. We decided to finally meet 2 weeks ago. We got along great, he's adorable and funny and sweet, etc.
We went out 3 times in that first week, and had at least some sort of contact the other days (IM, txt msg, phone calls), for a week and a half. Very low key, not talking about "relationships" or anything, just hanging out.
Well, on Tuesday when I talked to him, I asked if he wasn't doing anything on Wednesday night, if he wanted to come over, b/c I was cooking for once. He asked what time I got off work, and when I said at 5, he said he'd call me then and let me know.
I didn't hear from him.
Then Thursday...nothing...Friday...nothing...then today around 3, I sent him a text that said, "You missed some awesome bbq pizza...whatcha been up to lately?"
And nothing.
So just now, at 10:30, he sent me a mySpace message that said, "Sorry I haven't called you...my brother took my phone with him to PA this week, and he just called to tell me you sent me a text msg..."
That's it.
So...I'm thinking, well, he said he'd call on Wednesday to let me know if he was coming over...and here it is Saturday and he knows that we've talked somehow everyday for almost 2 weeks...wouldn't you think that he would have e-mailed me or IM'd me before now?
And my thing is, even if he didn't know my phone number without his phone, couldn't he have gotten it from his brother out of his phone when he called, and call me from the house phone that his brother called him on?
I know it's small stuff, but I'm tired of guys who are all into you until you show some interest, then ghost. I'm sick of stupid little games.
Your take on it?

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No... intelligent wasn't there... I got bored with online dating and deleted my profile, but it was something about intellectually stimulating conversation, making life happen rather than life happening to you, and challenge me as I will challenge you. Something along those lines. I was speaking about characteristics I desire.
The challenge me and I will challenge you thing is a way of letting the guys know that I'm on my toes, educated, not looking to be a doormat, and will be a challenge to them. I have my own opinion. I'm well-read. And I won't accept your decision as final just because it is what you've decided. If a guy doesn't challenge me, then I won't stay with him. I've been there and it is so incredibly boring, that it makes me crazy.
The "I give as good as I get", I agree is very vague. Obviously, I don't know the context, but even so... vague. I think is implies that I will treat you as well as you treat me which isn't really a good way to build a relationship, imo. Maybe it is meant to be flirty/sassy.
>Are you saying that women say they value intelligence
>but they really value height instead?
I would have thought that women who say they valued intelligence would praise a person with a High-IQ but instead they appear to feel contempt for them and criticise the method of testing. Only one woman (in a forum where the majority of members are women) said that being a member of mensa is an accomplishment to be proud of....
The results of my poll so far show that 67% of women prefer men to think they are intelligent. It would be interesting to find out how many of these women actually know what their measured IQ is. Maybe I’ll start another poll.
>I have also never understood why anyone can say
>what one large group (women) value without actually
>doing some extensive research about it.
You're right, I've not done extensive research. How many people here offer their opinions about men and have extensive research to back it up?
*** I would have thought that women who say they valued intelligence would praise a person with a High-IQ but instead they appear to feel contempt for them and criticise the method of testing. Only one woman (in a forum where the majority of members are women) said that being a member of mensa is an accomplishment to be proud of....***
My profile does mention intelligence but then goes on to qualify that by mentioning that the person I am seeking also needs to be well read, thinking, and introspective. I am one of those women who feels that intelligence alone is not sufficient. But I will give you this - I do make the distinction in my profile.
As for backing up our opinions here with statistics and research, I remember a poster who was here awhile ago that tried this with me and I schooled him right quick. And your poll, my dear, is far from scientific or accurate. A Mensa member who sees that as an accomplishment to be proud of should have a better grasp of statistical analysis than that. Additionally, a "measured" IQ? Really? There are so many methods and tests devised for measuring IQ and one can find worthy opponents and advocates of each method.
Jules,
>And your poll, my dear, is far from scientific or accurate.
In other words it's a complete waste of time posting here. I'm starting to believe it.
>A Mensa member who sees that as an accomplishment to be proud
>of should have a better grasp of statistical analysis than that.
>Additionally, a "measured" IQ? Really? There are so many methods
>and tests devised for measuring IQ and one can find worthy opponents
>and advocates of each method.
I have heard it all before. What you have written here and in your other posts reinforces what I said earlier. It's also the main reason few people in the real world know that I am a member of mensa. People seem to have many definitions for intelligence yet express utter disdain for one of the most common methods used to measure it. Lucky I’m a good person with integrity....
***What you have written here and in your other posts reinforces what I said earlier.***
You said many things, Hal. Which one did my response reinforce?
***People seem to have many definitions for intelligence yet express utter disdain for one of the most common methods used to measure it.***
I don't have any disdain for the actual tests that measure intelligence. I do, however, have a problem with anyone who relies on the test as proof of their intellectual prowess and subsequent worth. After all, there have been documented cases of people suffering from autism scoring over 130 when having their IQ tested. Would these people be able to relate to others with high IQs just because they share that? Not necessarily. So the statement that those with high IQs have trouble relating to those with lower IQs is not an absolute.
Just scoring well on a test is not an accomplishment and I don't see why I should be impressed by it. It's just as shallow to believe that someone should be valued for their natural intellectual ability as it is to believe that someone should be valued for their natural good looks. It's what one does with their intelligence that makes them worthy. Simpy having it makes them lucky, that's all.
And you completely glossed over the fact that I do basically agree with your point that indicating a preference for intelligence alone is insufficient - which is why I have always been more specific myself.
Some guys think they have to act aloof around the girl so she'll like them back. It is stupid I know but I have a lot of meathead friends who play these games basically because they just want to know a girl likes them that is all...they all have fragile egos and do this to make themselves feel better by stringing someone along to reassure themselves they are a big manly man or some stupid crap. I dont know why guys do it, I never have, then again I have never had much luck with women.
Long story short avoid anybody who plays around like this because it's stupid, just like the title of your post says, and you dont need to worry about someone who acts stupid like this in the beginning part of a potential relationship.
Thank you, antisexy, for FINALLY getting back to the original topic at hand some 30-odd posts later...
And whomever started the whole Mensa crap, thanks for hijacking my post. Now go away.
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