This sucks
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This sucks
| Sat, 05-20-2006 - 10:13pm |
I am completely and totally FED UP with flakey people...MEN in particular.
How is a woman supposed to find a guy to love and love her when she can't even get a guy to follow through on plans or better yet, even make a freakin' phone call?

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Mark,
I do understand thar our formative years with the family have a lot to do with who we are as adults. But people can grow and change a lot in the intervening years. I hope that you take into account a woman's current relationship with her family and her attitude about her past as well as the past itself. Otherwise you might be missing out on some really neat women who have had the opportunity to grow as a result of life's trials.
Oh fer sure Jules! I do realize that we all have the opportunity to change and grow. I especially am attracted to women who have done that. I love women who are self aware and have examined how to transform their past traumas and other aspects of their lives that are not healthy.
My point is that I see who the person now but also am aware of how our family history has shaped us.
Mark
I'm SO LATE chiming in (and haven't read the whole thread), but I wanted to tell you that I empathize. It does suck!
Just when we think we have found someone great, we go through all the same old crap all over again. We get our hopes up, and then we get stomped on. When will it be our turn to find a great guy who really likes us, falls for us, follows through and doesn't bolt?
I'm in a similar boat - my recent fling (as I'm now forced to call it, I thought it would be a lot more than a fling) recently left my apartment at 1 a.m. (he had planned to spend the night), saying he wasn't tired and just wanted to go home rather than go to sleep with me. He called the next day to say he just realized "there wasn't a spark."
Situations like yours and mine make me really weary of the whole dating scene.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I wasn't angry, just frustrated.
Thank you, TG.
Honestly, any man who asks me deeply personal questions on a first date is not likely to get a second date. I just don't believe in putting it all out there right away. That being said, I think that it's possible to ask less invasive questions (like how many siblings one has) and get a read on your date's relationship with their family simply by their reaction. Those deeper questions are for later on. I believe in taking time to get to know someone well. It's part of the joys of relationships - with friends as well as lovers. Discovering things about one another as you grow closer.
I think that it's possible to spot someone with real emotional problems without delving deep into their past. I've had pretty good luck with it. But that's just me.
I had a not-so-happy childhood involving infidelity and divorce and alcoholism and being hit by a car when I was 17. When I am close to someone, I have no problem talking freely and honestly about what it was like for me. All of these things contributed to who I am today and I am thankful that I am this person. When I was younger, I did not want to talk about those things because I thought that they were ugly and people would look at my hurts, see how ugly they were, and run away from me. I no longer feel that way. But I do feel like all of the things that contribute to who I am (the good and the bad) are precious and the people in my life have to earn access to them.
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