sudden change in behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2012
sudden change in behavior?
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 1:40am

Hello everyone!!

I am confused about the behaviour of one of my colleagues.... Were pretty close at work, we share inside info, we have each others' backs, we argue, flirt, etc.. I'm 28 he's 31. Difference is that I have feelings for him and idk if he does for me... Anyway, last week there was word I was getting transferred and he couldn't let me know....In  the end, i didn't end up getting transferred but he told me how all he could think about was how he couldn't tell me that i was leaving and that he couldn't stand to look at me and that it was bohering him all weekend and his family was consoling him... I was kinda surprised because half the time i thought he finds me annoying... I've never seen him so distraught.. I noticed he was behaving weird but thought nothing of it....And now, i feel like he avoids me... Maybe I'm reading too much into it but when I walk past him he won't always say hi or if he sees me he might walk other way... Do you think he realized he had feelings for me and got afraid? I'm in love with him...But I'm afaid of rejection... But why did this affect him so much? I never thought he cared...



Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 9:39am

If you are the same person who has posted here before, about the same guy, then unfortunately, I have the same advice as before:  You're either going to have to remain unsure of his feelings toward you or broach the subject with him.  He *may* be avoiding you because he's become aware of your feelings toward him, and is uncomfortable.  If he really likes you, I don't think he would continually avoid you.  It's my opinion that if a guy likes you, he'll eventually make some sort of bold move such as asking you out on a proper date.  Trust me, I spent a good couple of years crushing on a guy, thinking he felt the same way.  It turned out, he just liked having a flirt buddy around at social functions(was in my mid to late 20's).  Once he found someone he wanted to date, he dropped me like a hot potato.  I wasn't devastated or anything, but I did feel kind of foolish.  I'm sure you're a great girl; you deserve to have your feelings reciprocated.  Don't waste your time . . . ask him how he feels or try to focus your attention elsewhere.  Good luck!