Swallowing my pride
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Swallowing my pride
| Tue, 09-04-2007 - 8:49pm |
I swore I'd never put a profile (err...excuse me, "portrait") back up on match.
| Tue, 09-04-2007 - 8:49pm |
I swore I'd never put a profile (err...excuse me, "portrait") back up on match.
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Over the years, I have placed my profile, taken it down and then placed it back up. It does get tiring, especially when you meet a bunch of duds. Right now, I have my profile back up thinking it would divert my attention away from my ex. Has not happened yet. One thing I have noticed, if I email a guy, I NEVER get responses back. And I consider myself above average in looks, so there is something to be said with letting them come to you. It has to be the chase factor. I found the best luck this way. Let them come to you and respond to the ones you want to hear back from.
Good luck!
Heyyyyyy... I hope you keep track of THIS Mark *wink*
Mark who has been on eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Matchmaker, MySpace, Friendster, SpiritualSingles, Mingles, Yahoo, Match, craigslist, and so many others and nothing right now
BTW I keep checking Match. Last time I decided to go back on is when I saw enough fresh faces to sign up for. It's sad (for me and the women) that I have seen the same faces on Match since my divorce 7 years ago (and I have messaged every one of them LOL).
Edited 9/5/2007 11:07 am ET by mhash
>>I always end up feeling like I've met a string of people but can't get past the surface layer with them before they are on to the "next bigger, better thing."
The next bigger, better thing is at the heart of consumerism. But online dating takes it to a ridiculous extreme, because
A) the next bigger, better thing costs no money to buy, except one's own good looks.
B) in theory should be available at an unlimited supply with new members joining in almost every day.
Many moderately attractive people do not wish to 'settle'. Why, settle would mean placing a limit on oneself, and who wants to do that. A mate is a person's most visible acquisition, costs nothing to buy or own - at least in the short term, and elevates his or her status among friends like nothing else. So why would anyone ever stop shopping for one ?
PlentyOfFish is the crud. The bottom of the sewer. Yahoo is a little better. Match, some more.
Haven't tried eHarmony yet, but their whole approach sounds like even if it does nothing else will at least minimize 'deal hunting' and catalog shopping.
>>Many moderately attractive people do not wish to 'settle'. Why, settle would mean placing a limit on oneself, and who wants to do that. A mate is a person's most visible acquisition, costs nothing to buy or own - at least in the short term, and elevates his or her status among friends like nothing else. So why would anyone ever stop shopping for one ?
Well this is another reason not to online date. What kind of mentality is that?? Searching for a potential mate is not like buying a car; you don't (well, some people do, obviously) trade it in after a few years after it gets old and rusty. Ideally, you find someone whom you grow to love, whom you can share at the very least PART of your life with. If you're all about status and making a good impression on others, then by all means, keep shopping, but shop others who have the same mentality.
Well, as someone who dates men in that age group, this has been my experience with the men I've met, both online and IRL (one or more of the following applies):
1. They are dishonest (my biggest dealbreaker);
2. They are flaky and unreliable (2nd biggest);
3. They are boring (they go to work and watch TV and that's it--no zip or zest for life);
4. They don't want a committed relationship (many of them are divorced and have been there done that, which is fine, but we're not on the same page);
5. They have serious emotional issues that have not been addressed.
So it's possible that this woman has had a similar experience, yet she still has hope that there's a good guy who's right for her out there, as I do.
Sheri
>>Even people I know who swore by online dating and now have significant others didn't even meet them online!
Actually online dating is not that different from being in a bar. Except now you don't even have to get out of bed or open your mouth to meet people. I think any time people gather, be it online or at a public place, with the express purpose of selecting mates, the whole process reduces to catalog shopping. Nothing wrong in that, we all like beautiful people, but it becomes just that. Finding the most beautiful person and competing to get his or her attention and trying to get a few words in from among dozens of others trying to do the same.
The best place to meet a person now I think, would be when the person is alone and when you can offer each other your undivided attention. Sure it's inefficient, but its also far more productive.
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