Swallowing my pride

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Swallowing my pride
56
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 8:49pm

I swore I'd never put a profile (err...excuse me, "portrait") back up on match.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 1:16pm

It's funny, before I even made it to the end of your post, I started wondering the very same things. That perhaps it was a fad and one that is fading in popularity. I wonder if people are missing real connections. Craving that spontaneous interaction that can't really occur online. Perhaps they are tired of all of the rejections or, all of the "ghosters". One thing that got to me when I was doing it, was all of the men who seemed content just emailing back and forth. Isn't the idea to actually meet at some point?

Anyway, interesting post, good luck with match!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 3:55pm

"I'm kinda curious- I know a lot of you have used various dating sites. Does anyone actually get a fair amount of initial emails? What about replies to your emails? I just never seem to get any, and I know I'm attractive enough to reel something in. I just wonder if it's all just "out" now and there's something new coming "in"."

I've been on Match 4 different times in 3 years and i usually start out getting swarmed with emails 50-60 the first week and they taper off from there. Usually by month 3, there are very few. So I've only subscribed for one month the last two times. And then the emails were down to maybe 20 the first week and down after that.

I only reply to maybe 30% of what I get, the rest I trash for obvious reasons. Out of those I'd say maybe half will respond and with some sense. I thenonly end up mating less thatn 5% of the original batch and the last two times, I met no one. No one was good enough to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 4:14pm

OK, I just finished reading through the entire thread.

In the past 3 years, I have been on Yahoo, Match, Craigslist, Dreammates, PlentyofFish, Date.com and OkCupid, met and went out on at least one date with over 30 men. I dated 5 guys longer than one month, 2 over 3 months and not once did I enter a real relationship with a man I could call my boyfriend. My 3 year anniv. of being single is coming up.

I hate online dating and I keep swearing to never return but if I do, it will hopefully be in a new city after I relocate. I'm done with this current market.

I'm constantly hit on by men 40 and 50+ (I'm 29 and my cutoff is 35), men too far away (40 miles is my limit) and I also don't chase or respond to winks, empty profiles or guys looking to hook up. After you eliminate them, there are few options left. More and more men on there seem to be looking for something casual and few take the effort to write coherent messages back, or really try and get to know you. It's depressing.

And I find it worse than dating in real life cause there is so much more rejection and disappointment involved. You essentially get passed over by dozens instead of just one of two at a time.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:23pm

Hehe...had to laugh at this!


I thenonly end up mating less thatn 5% of the original batch


You have to realize just from reading the rest of this thread that you have had FAR better responses than most of us have.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:36pm

17 views in two days and absolutely no emails or winks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:32pm

Oops, didn't catch that misspelling.

But yeah just cause I get more attention doesn't really mean I get better guys or have had better experiences. And I seriously hate getting attention because of nice pictures and men that haven't even read the profile.

A few times I've gotten winks from Christian guys looking for Christian women. My profile clearly states I'm a staunch agnostic looking for a non-religious guy. So I wrote a few back and asked why they winked if they want a someone with their beliefs. Some admitted they only got as far as the pics and others didn't care and still wanted to get to know me. I hate feeling like these men would then forget their standards cause of a pretty face. Me on the other hand, I'm not so easily swayed.

And I'm sure some are thinking it would be harmless to date them but I feel like if they really want a Christian girl then they'd probably date me casually until one came along.

Not going down that road.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 11:05pm

I completely understand what you're saying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 2:05am

Uga - was feeling frustrated earlier this week w/ being single and having a limited social circle, so decided to reactivate my profile on match. A vent - you used to be able to read any incoming emails for free and then pay if you want to answer. Now, you can't even see the email until you subscribe! (Hmmm - perhaps a sign that the market is saturated?)

Anyways, yes, curiosity got the better of me - an email showed up shortly after I reactivated my profile...being a sucker, I paid for one month, just to read it (after some thought!). Jeez - what was I thinking?! The one email I paid $$$ to read was from a guy who was posting his "promo-modeling" pics online and wanting feedback! Lame...And looking through profiles for my area, things weren't much different from a year ago. Lesson learned; subscription cancelled again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 4:35am

>>and went out on at least one date with over 30 men. I dated 5 guys longer than one month, 2 over 3 months and not once did I enter a real relationship with a man I could call my boyfriend. My 3 year anniv. of being single is coming up.<<

After dating 30 men over a three year period, I would say there was hardly a time you were not single. I think you are addicted to men ! Did you take down all your ads ?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 7:51am

That irritates me, too.