There MUST be somthing wrong with me!
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| Thu, 10-04-2007 - 10:10pm |
What is wrong with me? Here is a brief history of the past couple months:
I met a guy online who I REALLY hit it off with. We have SO much fun on our dates. Then one night I went to retrieve something I left at his house and he was really standoffish and practically pushed me out the door. So, I sent him an email saying, 'Look, I like you and want to hang out with you more and get to know you on a more personal level." He was leaving town soon (and he is out of town for his job every week all week) so I figured our lack of communication outside of dating was due to his busy schedule. So I asked him if he wanted to see me after he got back from his month long trip and if he wanted to know me on a more personal level (since we are really silly and fun whenever we hang out, but never really serious). I know he is hiding the fact that he is in AA from me because his friend accidentally told me since he thought I knew. He wrote back saying YES he likes me and YES he wants to get to know me better and YES he'd like to hang out when he got back from his long long trip, but would rather hang out before he left. So, we had a date the night before he left and it was WONDERFUL! However, he also said that since he has been living a life of travel for so long he isn't quite ready to settle down yet. That's fine because I enjoy his time anyway.
So then he left and I met this guy from eHarmony and we have a lot in common and he is cool but not as cool as guy number one, whom I think about all the time. I had a date with him for yesterday night and I cancelled it because I just didn't feel like going out. I also had a date with this guy who I went to for a personal training consult. I met him and thought he was SO hot and wished he wasn't my personal trainer so I could date him. Then I ended up telling him I couldn't afford him after all so then he asked me to share a bottle of wine with him so I did. We had a good time and were supposed to go out tonight but I cancelled it! I don't know why I keep setting up dates and then cancelling them, only to sit at home by myself. I am just SO sick of dating. I'm thinking I'd be much happier in a relationship or having no contact with guys at all. Every time I really like a guy there turns out to be SOME reason why we can't be together. I don't know why I'm so wishy-washy and cancel dates and meet nice guys and then never give them a second chance for the smallest reasons. Then my friend told me although I have no jealous feelings over my ex and have no problem seeing him with his girlfriend (truthfully), I'm still not over the long relationship we had. Does this mean I should jsut STOP dating altogether? That's hard for me. I feel boy crazy and when I see a guy I'm really attracted to I want to date them, but then after one date, even if they're really cool, I just lose interest immediately. Why do I only want what I can't have?? What's wrong with me???

Ditto to both of you!