There MUST be somthing wrong with me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
There MUST be somthing wrong with me!
3
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 10:10pm

What is wrong with me? Here is a brief history of the past couple months:

I met a guy online who I REALLY hit it off with. We have SO much fun on our dates. Then one night I went to retrieve something I left at his house and he was really standoffish and practically pushed me out the door. So, I sent him an email saying, 'Look, I like you and want to hang out with you more and get to know you on a more personal level." He was leaving town soon (and he is out of town for his job every week all week) so I figured our lack of communication outside of dating was due to his busy schedule. So I asked him if he wanted to see me after he got back from his month long trip and if he wanted to know me on a more personal level (since we are really silly and fun whenever we hang out, but never really serious). I know he is hiding the fact that he is in AA from me because his friend accidentally told me since he thought I knew. He wrote back saying YES he likes me and YES he wants to get to know me better and YES he'd like to hang out when he got back from his long long trip, but would rather hang out before he left. So, we had a date the night before he left and it was WONDERFUL! However, he also said that since he has been living a life of travel for so long he isn't quite ready to settle down yet. That's fine because I enjoy his time anyway.

So then he left and I met this guy from eHarmony and we have a lot in common and he is cool but not as cool as guy number one, whom I think about all the time. I had a date with him for yesterday night and I cancelled it because I just didn't feel like going out. I also had a date with this guy who I went to for a personal training consult. I met him and thought he was SO hot and wished he wasn't my personal trainer so I could date him. Then I ended up telling him I couldn't afford him after all so then he asked me to share a bottle of wine with him so I did. We had a good time and were supposed to go out tonight but I cancelled it! I don't know why I keep setting up dates and then cancelling them, only to sit at home by myself. I am just SO sick of dating. I'm thinking I'd be much happier in a relationship or having no contact with guys at all. Every time I really like a guy there turns out to be SOME reason why we can't be together. I don't know why I'm so wishy-washy and cancel dates and meet nice guys and then never give them a second chance for the smallest reasons. Then my friend told me although I have no jealous feelings over my ex and have no problem seeing him with his girlfriend (truthfully), I'm still not over the long relationship we had. Does this mean I should jsut STOP dating altogether? That's hard for me. I feel boy crazy and when I see a guy I'm really attracted to I want to date them, but then after one date, even if they're really cool, I just lose interest immediately. Why do I only want what I can't have?? What's wrong with me???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 3:34am
this could be an exact page out of my book!! the similarities are almost scarey. the only thing i can figure out is that i'm still pissed at my ex for promising me forever and then taking it away. i think i'm having a hard
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2007
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 9:48am

Ditto to both of you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 10:18pm
Yeah! I don't understand why he has moved on with this HORRIBLE girlfriend and I'm stuck here ditching every nice guy who I meet. I mean, I'd be so happy if my ex was actually dating a NICE girl. You know, not some stuck up b*tch who everyone at his job has labeled as "princess." It makes me feel like he will settle for something less, and I don't want to feel like something less. I always thought I was a great catch to him and now he is dating this b!tch. If she was intelligent, sweet, and philantrhopic then I'd be happy, but she is this little dumb girl who lives off her daddy's credit card and he seems to be smitten! At the same time, I can't find myself smitten with any of the sweet nice guys who give me the time of day! I'm just glad I'm not the only one dealing with this. How do I move on? I thought I was over him......then my friend convinced me that I wasn't. I don't EVER want him back, so why am I NOT over him?? It doesn't make any sense? Maybe I'm jealous that he has met someone (a warm body) who makes him happy. Ugh.