Is there a plan to all this madness?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Is there a plan to all this madness?
12
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 12:37pm

I don't know if I am going to be able to express what I am feeling right now accurately. But hopefully I do....

Lately, I have been over-whelmingly sensitive to everyone getting married and having babies. With the exception of two friends, (one does not want children and the other is four years younger) everyone of my friends are married and having babies. I know I feel sensitive about this because I am out of a relationship where we both wanted to get married and have kids. He would often rub my belly and tell me how beautiful and cute I would be pregnant. So I know a lot of my feelings stem from this failed relationship and the fact that I am 32 and getting older by the minute.

But I also feel cheated and slighted by God or life, what have you, because this is such a far grasp for me to have. I see my friends who sabotaged their love life and made so many mistakes over the years. Now, they have great husbands and are having babies.... And yes, their husbands are good guys who 100% love and adore them. And the feelings are 100% mutual.

I know that getting married and having babies does not make one a happy person or make their lives perfect. But you know what they do have? They have their best friend, their rock that supports them when it's needed. I don't have that... And no friend or family member can completely fill that void.

I often wonder why? Why do they have what I want? They're not better than me, so how come I cannot find this? Why do I have to wait?

Every shower that I go to, every time one of my friends sends baby pictures or feels the baby kick, I see their face light up and it just reminds me what I almost had. What I don't have and how far away from it I really am. I just want to cry....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 1:33am

well, I'm really impressed that you were able to walk away from the relationship after seeing his erratic behavior, addictive problems and such. That is really not easy to do, and I think you should

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 10:11am

I'm not going to speak for anyone else here but I have been exactly in the space you are in right now. But all I can say is you cannot stay in this mindframe because staying in it will not get you closer to your goal. You have to get out of the negativity and plug forward and try to think positively as hard as that is to do. Try not to compare yourself to other people and you are exactly where you are suppose to be in life. The reason you aren't with that person is he wasn't the right person for you. There is a reason that relationship didn't work out and the universe or God or whatever you believe in saved you from some heartache.


Trust me when I say that everything comes in it's due time, and it will come, you need to just be patient and patience doesn't come easily to me, ask my friends sisfox, wendie, lisa...where are you...they can vouch for me I'm not a patient person...but it will come...you have to just go on with your life...and know that the universe has something in store for you and you have to know that you are exactly where you need to be. Trust in it.


Hugs.


Smile,

Deirdre

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