Is There Something Wrong With Me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Is There Something Wrong With Me?
11
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 7:09pm

Just curious as to whether other people feel this way, and what their thought are...

I've been

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 7:29pm

I think it's probably a combination of factors--you're financial independent so you don't need a man to support you, you do have bad examples of marriage and you have a good life.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 7:57pm

Well this guy allows you no "space". He may be afraid that you will be found by other males.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 9:58am
First, I agree with the others that this guy has an issue. I can't stand that kind of behavior, either. That happened to me last year when I was still doing OLD. Only, in my case we hadn't even met yet, and he was already acting possessive and demanding. we went on too dates and it got worse. He was already talking about what a great sex life we would have(how would he know?) and was planning all of these things for our "Bucket List". It was creepy, and was one of the things that made me wonder if I really wanted to date.
I am older than you (50), but I can remember back to when I was at 32. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. You definitely sound like you have your act together. Be selective. You have plenty of time, especially if you decide you don't really want kids. I reached that realization at 34, and it was very freeing.
And you are right, there are a lot of dysfunctional relationships out there. I know of a few great couples that seem to have their act together, but they are rare.And nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. I honestly think that our society has become very selfish, and people seem to not want to work or sacrifice for their partner.
Also, once you live alone a long time and enjoy your independence, it is harder to make room in your life for someone. However, I think Music is right in that it is hard to think about it in the abstract, but if a living, breathing man that you click with was to present himself, it would be a different story. I often ask the same question of myself, and always come to the conclusion that I just haven't met that person.
As far as people asking questions, I got that alot at your age, and it was VERY hard. I found myself getting resentful as everyone was pairing up and starting families. Ignore these people. Truth be told, most of them don't have their act together, and they feel they have to "fix" all of the single people.
Carry on. You have many, many good years ahead of you. You may find the One, or you may not, but either way, life can be great. I finally figured that out in my 40s. Don't waste these great years worrying about others, like I did.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 10:00am

I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 10:07am
cfk, excellent advice!
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 11:09am

I don't think there's anything wrong with you either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 5:59pm

I second Music's perception.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 7:00pm

Thanks for the responses everyone! I'm usually a pretty positive person and don't let things get to me too much, but I think the combination of the less-than-spectacular selection of my recent OLD attempt, along with the fact that I'm heading to a family reunion next month and dreading the pitying looks and questions

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 7:11pm

I love that song!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 7:45pm

I'm 34, single for almost 2 years. I tried dating last summer and found that those guys who were interested behaved pretty clingy. I actually lost interest in dating and thought that I wasn't ready for a relationship. But then I met someone who wrote to me everyday, later started talking to me for hours and I...LOVED it. Because we clicked and there was a very strong physical attraction as well. Unfortunately, he was married LOL, but it thought me that there's no point in thinking that something's wrong with us if we're not enjoying some men's company. Even if the're nice.

Hopefully at some point, you'll meet someone who attracts you enough to want to have a relationship.

Pages