Is there still hope?
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Is there still hope?
| Sat, 10-06-2007 - 2:07am |
Hello, first of all, I am 33 and have very rarely dated my whole life. Most men have usually rejected me. (I just recently lost 75 lbs on my own.) I didn't think I would ever find anyone that would want or love me. I began online dating, just over a month ago,

First of all, congratulations on losing so much weight. That takes a lot of determination and you should be proud.
Generally speaking for me, if attraction doesn't happen fairly quickly, it never develops. But I see nothing wrong with continuing to date this man to see what happens. I've known people who became attracted after a much longer period of time, so I wouldn't give up yet.
I'm wondering a little if his lack of interest in sex is inexperience or low libido. Generally speaking, I'd say most people do what comes naturally when they are really attracted (although it never hurts for one of you to have a lot of experience!). If there really is attraction between the two of you, you could gain experience together.
Having said that, I wouldn't spend too much time trying to make attarction happen or to wait too long to date others. In fact, you could date others right now--you're not exclusive. I would encourage you to gain experience dating men and building up your own confidence now that you have lost so much weight. If you feel you are still carrying a lot of baggage from your past, I would also urge you to see a therapist who could help you sort through all of that.
And no, you aren't expecting too much. A relationship needs passion.
I think you're poised for a whole new beginning to life and I wish you all the best.
Wow- congratulations as well on your weight loss..that is amazing! =) LOTS OF KUDOS!!!!
I agree with everything the last poster said...normally the "chemistry" is there initially..and that is how the passion grows...maybe he is just a nice guy..that you won't end up getting romantically involved with...I do, however, have friends that have gone out with guys longer that they didn't have the chemistry with bc the guy had so many other great qualities...but for me..chemistry & passion, affection, intimacy are a very big part of what I want out of a relationship. On the flip side..your liable to date someone who you have a lot of chemistry with..and he is not there for you emotionally.
I do think you should try to date some other guys right now as well...you've done it once already..so you know what it's like to have your first blind date!! I think you need to have fun and enjoy yourself...that will also help build your confidence and help you decide what you are looking for.