Is there a thin line?? Opinions please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Is there a thin line?? Opinions please!!
7
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 8:56am

What’s the deal??

Ok, this question is for the guys and the ladies: Is there a thin line between a man having a roving eye, and a man just “being a man” and constantly checking out women (even when he’s with a woman)?
Just want to get some opinions. My friends and I are single, and we’re casually dating guys. Some of them don’t make it obvious that they’re checking out women when they’re with us; others are a little discreet; some are just plain OBVIOUS. What do y’all think? Is it truly rude, disrespectful, or just the way men are.
Guys, do you think that it’s disrespectful for you to do it when you’re with your lady friend, even if she’s just a woman you’re seeing? Does it mean anything??

All opinions, insight, etc. are appreciated

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 9:03am
Just my personal opinion, but I think it's tacky if a guy very obviously checks out other women in the presence of one he's dating (no matter how casually) or in a relationship with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:17pm

"Being discreet is definitely a must."

Well, stacey... I don't think anyone can be "discreet" about looking at someone, because it's (i agree with you), a natural response... You guys, should ALSO realize, that Female's do it also, but our heads don't completely turn 360° when something visually pleasing passes by. Women tend to also notice an attractive male by more than just his physical attributes (i.e; the way he's dressed, body language, great smile, etc). For example, I saw this guy somewhere a long time ago--- no idea who this stranger is, but the way he presented himself; the way he stood tall and very confident was so enticing. It wasn't because he was a god- he really wasn't ALL of that ((and then some more)), but just the way he seemed was so different than most of these geeky, gay, thuggish, dorky looking guys that I usually see...

But, so yeah... girls look to though, we're just not THAT obvious and seem so desperate.

I also think it's disrespectful to "STARE," I understand everyone looks, but just don't STARE like your not with your girl/boyfriend. It's disrespectful and immature... and a complete turn .

take care!

(eReader_k007)

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:03pm

Rivegauche25,

I think it is the way that it is done. I can look at a man who is good looking and have no attraction to him at all or I can look at a man that I find attraction and look at him with intention. I hope that makes sense. Speaking generally, I think some men deliberately look at other women to make their dates feel insecure. This is the type of man who should be avoided at all costs! I once went out with a man who did that not because he found these women more attractive than me but he did it to try and undermine my confidence. I also dated another man who used to blatantly check out women in front of me. For the most part however, I have dated men who were very respectful and only had eyes for me. Don't settle for anything else.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:14pm
I think you and your friends are a little insecure. Men have a natural attraction towards beautiful women, and if one passes by, they have our attention. It doesn't matter if we make it obvious or not, we're thinking it. That doesn't mean we go through with it. What's the harm of looking but not touching?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 10:00pm

If I've just started dating a guy and he's obviously checking other women out in my presence, then we've got a problem. When dating, I expect a guy to be on his best behavior so to say, which means paying attention to me and the conversation, not having an obvious roaming eye or oogling someone else. I think it's just immature and tacky to make stupid little mistakes like that when you're trying to impress someone.

HOWEVER, subtle looking does not bother me when I'm in a serious relationship. I'm secure enough to know that he's not looking with intentions. The only time it's ever been a problem is when it's CONSTANT and a full head swing to the point of whiplash for him. As a woman I look too because I can appreciate someone who dresses well, smells good and has a certain air of confidence. I appreciate more though an attraction that comes from a deep love and intimacy that you'll only have with your signicant other at the time.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 6:11pm
I happen to think that it is incredibly rude. There is a difference between being an observant person and being a complete jerk. It's a major turn-off for me.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 8:06pm

When I'm with a date and an attractive woman goes by or is in front of me then of course I will notice. "Checking out?" that is subject to interpretation. I am highly aware of being respectful of my date as well as the woman I notice. I make it a point not to linger or stare at her.

Mark