Things didn't go that well

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Things didn't go that well
Fri, 08-30-2013 - 11:27pm

To try to make a really long story short, I went down to the place on the beach for a couple of days (invited by a guy R) and immediately found out that he is in a relationship with the woman I wondered about (M).  The ironic part is that in getting to know them better, I discovered that I wouldn't want to be in a relationship w/ him and that I really liked her.  She & I had some good time to talk & get to know each other.  The first day was supremely awkward for me.  The weather was bad so we couldn't go to the beach and it was in a very small town w/ not much to do.  Oh and I was under the impression that more people would be there all week but it was just the 3 of us--great!  I said "are we going out to dinner tonight?" but she had stuff to cook (stuff that I didn't really like--I mean it was not as bad as I feared but definitely not something I would pick to eat.)  Then the bed I had was the hardest most uncomfortable mattress--so much that I actually woke up in pain and said I just can't sleep here any more and went down to sleep on the living room sofa.  Today was much better--about 10 people came down for a party and they were all nice people & we were having fun eating & drinking.  So I guess live & learn.  I'm glad I never said anything flirty to him.  I actually said to M when we were talking that R never told me that they were a couple--she said she had found that to be a problem because another woman asked him out & he told her then that he was dating M and I said that's not really fair to the women either because it's embarrassing--he should introduce M as his GF.  She said she tries to head things off by doing that herself.  I guess privately he is very affectionate but he doesn't like any public gestures, even hand holding.  I'm not one for a lot of PDA but I would expect if I had a BF for 7 months, that he would at least be telling people that M is my GF--I don't think he does it to get other women, I just think he's clueless--which is why he probably wasn't very clear on the arrangements and who was going to be there when.  If he had said other people are just coming for a party on Friday I would have just come then.  But I guess it was good to learn about all the ways that I wouldn't like him because now I am not disappointed at all that they are together.  I really have to stop making these fantasies in my head though.