Things to enjoy solo
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Things to enjoy solo
| Wed, 04-11-2007 - 4:27pm |
I am separating from my husband for a while after being married for several years. Most of my friends are married and I'm having problems finding people to go out and do things with. I'd like to find some social groups to join or something like a book club. I also wondered, is it weird to go to a movie theater by yourself? Or to dinner by yourself? Would people look at me in a strange way if I was alone? I've already been going to the park for walks by myself, but I'm bored with that.

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I go to movies alone all the time, but only Monday through Thursday. I don't have the balls to go alone on date nights. You'll be surprised by how many other people you will see there alone.
I have dined alone at lunch, but I make sure I have a book or magazine with me. Again, too chicken to go at night where I might be confronted with a bevy of couples out on dates.
I know I shouldn't care (date nights) but I do. I'm sure no one else would ; )
I could probably go to a movie by myself. I could to lunch by myself, but not dinner at a nice restaurant. What would I do, sit and stare off into space while eating, with no one to talk to? I can't picture it.
I enjoy dining out & that is something my husband refused to do. I have some gift cards for restaurants. I thought about inviting some girl friends to go. But they are married, and the ones who are single prefer to go out to bars. I seriously doubt they'd go to a restaurant with me, even if the meal was free (with my gift cards).
Your married friends don't enjoy getting away from time to time?
I have heard about meetup.com but I have never tried it as a source for making new friends/aquaintances. I did post an ad for an activity parnter on AOL ions and ions ago ; ) I met a nice girl who I played tennis with on the weekends. She was married and her husband didn't enjoy the sport. Anyway, maybe you could try something like that?
I think you are right - divorced and single people are now in the majority. Its hard to find single friends after I've been married. A lot of my girlfriends who are single, only seem to have time for going on dates with guys, not spending time with friends.
Its also hard to get people together for things. People cancel a lot. So I am left with no option but to do something by myself.
I do a lot of things solo. I get tired of waiting on friends who may or may not be into the same things as me anyway.
Some examples of places I go alone:
jazz clubs
concerts of bands I like that nobody else likes
dinner (even swanky places, if the mood strikes)
movies
book store
cooking classes
events at local libraries
networking socials/happy hours
Go for it! You meet a lot more fun people when you go places solo, because it's easier to approach someone when they are not in a group.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Hi tess,
I definitely go to movies alone all the time, even at 7 p.m. on a Saturday night! I tend to like offbeat films anyway. But I will not go to a nice restaurant by myself at night. Lunch is no problem. But like you, I have a hard time finding people to do things with.
Here are some things I have/do alone: wine tasting night at a nice wine bar; kayaking trips (half day); museum and gallery openings (lots of people go to these alone); university lectues; the symphony and various shows that have come to town; professional organization events; night classes; cooking classes.
But it gets old. There have been years where I have had single women friends to do things with and then years when I didn't. I'm in a particularly dry spell at the moment. I find vacations the hardest. Last year I spent two nights in Savannah by myself. It was half-fun but half-lonely. I can't say I really enjoyed the vacation. But this summer I'm thinking of taking a group tour of Ireland. I've been to Europe before with a singles group (escorted organized tour) and it was really fun.
It seems to really be a trend I've noticed on these boards that single women have a hard time finding women to do things with: their married friends pretty much drop them and their friends who meet guys drop them.
Best of luck. --FG
Hi tess. I'm new to these boards, and saw your post and thought I'd reply! I've been single a long time (I'm 45!), and so I have a lot of experience getting out there on my own. I know it isn't easy, but it IS possible to find fun things to do. Your idea of a book club is a good one. Is there a college or univeristy nearby? They are excellent sources of continuing ed classes, lectures, programs, etc, many are free or low-cost. Also, volunteer work can be great; it makes you feel good and you meet like-minded people. I have also been to concerts and plays by myself. For some reason, I like that better than going to the movies by myself. I don't mind eating lunch out by myself at all, but dinner can be weird. I live in a small city and don't particularly like going to bars by myself, but sometimes I'll go to the bar at Applebee's and yak with the bartender. We're kind of on friendly terms, and there aren't too many guys to have to deal with. Since you are just coming out of a marriage, you may not feel like dating yet. Totally understandable!!! That's why clubs, classes and the like may be better. You can enjoy learning something and you have the common interest to take the 'pressure' off of the social aspect.
Hope this helps. The main thing is to be patient and keep trying!
galpoet
p.s. if people are looking at you, here's what they're thinking, "Man I wish I had the courage to go out by myself and enjoy it, like that cool woman over there!" Good luck and have fun.
Thanks.
I also enjoy going to the bar at Chili's and chatting w/the bartenders. They also have a t.v. that I can watch.
My husband would never go out with me to do anything, ever. He only wanted to spend time with his family members and have dinners at home. We could not even rent movies from blockbuster or order pizza - he disapproved of spending money on these things. Even though we could well afford it.
I am planning to go to a botanical garden this weekend with a friend. I also looked at some book clubs in my city.
I'm not interested in dating, and not interested in going to bars or night clubs, period. I won't set foot inside one of those places. Too much smoke, noise, and loud music; and you can't really get to know anyone.
Coffee shops are also a fun place to hang out. Not Starbucks, but a REAL coffee shop. One with lots of tables and furniture inside where you can play board games, eat food, drink coffee, listen to music or just read.
If there is a small local paper where you live, they are usually full of events going on and things to do. I love to look through the one here and see if there is anything I'd like to do going on. I've seen free belly dancing classes, open mic readings, free pottery classes and stuff like that.
When you start to go to ANY place regularly, the people who hang out there and work there usually kind of get to know you and make you feel comfortable. Which was really nice for me when I got out of my 5yr relationship. Even if there wasn't anyone in particular that I would want to develop any kind of close relationship with, at least I had someone to chat with when I wanted to.
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