Things happen for a reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Things happen for a reason.
2
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 9:51pm

Last night was a rough night for me, and it doesn't help that this is my birthday week.

"Derek" (a guy I've been seeing since June) and I had "the talk". I wouldn't have brought it up but I've been feeling a little insecure about whatever it is that we have.

So it turns out that he found out that day about some out-of-province job opportunities within the company (something he was interested in eight months ago-prior to when we met). We met online, and when we did, he had not heard anything back about these jobs so he figured it wouldn't happen or at least not for another two or three years. He says that these positions usually fill up quickly which means, if he did get the job, he could be packing to leave in two weeks. So part of the reason why he's been non-commital is because of this "instability" in his life. I had asked him what he wanted (from our relationship), and he simply replied, "I don't know." because his job/life is still quite transitory at this stage. I was hurt but I understand where he's coming from. We both like each other and have a fantastic time when we're together, but I guess he doesn't want to commit to anything and then find out he has to leave. He still wants to see me, talk to me, but I feel indifferent. I do want to see him and I do want to keep talking with him, but I know it'll just be harder when the time comes, *if* the time comes.

I just wish he had told me this from the beginning so I wouldn't have let my feelings get carried away.

So, what would you do?

(Thanks guys and sorry for such a long post!)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 7:49am

I think that by this point, he should have an inkling of whether he would want to keep in touch if he moves away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 3:59pm

I dated someone for five years whose favorite phrase was "I don't know," so I am very wary of that response. I always believed it would change, but we broke up because he still "didn't know."

So, how old is this guy? I give younger guys a little slack about not knowing what they want -- but the ones who are 30 and older, they should know. If they don't, they have no business stringing you along while they figure it out.

Just my opinion.

AJ, enjoying life with C.