Things you don't want him to know..

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Things you don't want him to know..
14
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 12:56pm

Over to the right side, there's a link to a list- Ten Things Guys Don't Want You to Know- http://love.ivillage.com/lnsunderstandmen/whathethinks/0,,askmen_8c5wq0fh,00.html


I'd be pretty upset if a guy I was dating followed some of those "rules", but I also wondered if there's a similar list for women.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 5:32pm
men go to strip bars.What is the big deal?i love male revues and would not stop..it is fun..and I am not lonely I go out on dates and gues what..I am a evil sinner who does wait until there is gold on my finger to have sex.if that makes me horrible,so be it.I have great friends,family,and do alot of volunteer work.Men don`t control my life or give me the happiness to survive.I enjoy dating,..but I like my freedom..and men respect women eve more when they keep it casual
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 5:38pm

Actually, you did say that, to wit: "he slept with 40 girls,and goes to strip bars all the time..that is something they all do" and I do read your posts - I read the posts of everyone here. The varied points of view are a large part of what make this board such an interesting place to post and read. I get that you told your boyfriend that you did not believe him and I also understand that YOUR experience has been what you post. But that does not mean that everyone else feels that way and, when you say that someone else's POV is naiive then you are, in effect, invalidating their opinion. I just think that you should respect the opinions of others as much as you want your opinion respected. What I said about replying to you and getting thrown off of the boards was not a threat. It was a declaration of how frustrating it can be to read generalizations.

I do take care of myself, so don't you worry about me. I sincerely hope that someday you can trust a man again and that you can see that there are valid points of view aside from your own.

With that, I wash my hands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 6:15pm
well you did not read very well...what i wrote is a guy is not going to tell a woman that he slept with 40 other women and goes to strip bars all the time,as an example of saying that men do NOT spill the beans about everything that they do.And I do not care what you do,i do not bash anyone,men are not always honest,if they have slept with alot of women and go to the go go bars they are not going to share THAT info and get a girl they want to bed all fired up and mad.Guys do certain things,and who cares if they do go to strip clubs?the heck is the big deal?would it bother you so much if a guy you are in relationship goes to one?And no,I didn`t believe what my ex said...He was mad I never believed him,but please..what guy is not going to go to one?But who cares.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 10:37pm

I really have to think about this one since my goal is to be transparent to all people, i.e. that I have nothing to hide. This does not mean I reveal everything personal all at once to a stranger either. I approach dating with the attitude that "this is who I am and if you like me then that's great and if you don't then guess we are not a match."

Things I do not want a woman know ...

For me, when a woman is physically unattractive to me then I do not want to inform her directly if it is a dating situation, e.g. Internet. I just say "it's not a match."

Since size is mentioned here...I do not reveal my penis size (in terms of telling her). For me, this is not a problem since it never comes up in any conversation I've had with a woman.

I see that one of the things mentioned on the website was "weakness." I feel that crying is not a weakness so I have no problem mentioning that I do. I don't cry very often though.

If it is not known already, I do not bring up my age (52). I feel that it can color a person's perception of me (whether it's a dating situation or not). I have been told I look (and probably act) younger than my age. I attribute that to my Asian genes though I do have graying hair. I did have that in grad school though. I do tell anyone my real age when asked directly.

I think the OCD thing is something that I would have an issue with with a partner. I have a male friend who has that. We are talking/phone buddies who share our lives that way. He does not like to do any activities with me though he is willing to compromise if it is with a woman he wants to date. My woman friend has dated several OCD men and none of it worked out partly because of that characteristic. My former spouse grew up in an alcoholic family so structure and orderliness was very important to her (even though she is not OCD) and I found it one of the factors we did not get along.

Good topic!
Mark

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