To those of you who think I'm a good guy
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| Tue, 09-04-2007 - 9:37am |
This will change your mind.
First off, I havent called the girl from last weekend back (maybe I will tomorrow or tonight, its just been a crazy weekend)
So, I have never made so many bad choices in one weekend...
Thursday night me and most of my office took a trip out to a minor league baseball game.
Well, long story short, I drank WAYYY too much for a work function, and me and one of my coworkers got kicked out for being too drunk. Then we started making out by the bus (for those of you who remember, this is the girl I was thinking about sleeping with at work about a month and a half ago) Anyway on the bus ride home we started talking about sexual history (I dont remember alot of this convo). This was around many other coworkers... and bosses....
Then a few of us just hung out in the parking lot until 3 to sober up... When I drove home I was NOWHERE near sober. Bad Choices.
friday I moved, so this was fine.
Sat I went to my best friends new apartment, (who is living with my ex). This was actually a fun night where nothing bad happened.
Sunday :-/ - I went out to a bar with a group of friends. Wasnt very drunk at all, and went back to a friends to continue drinking. Well, she likes me, I do not like her like that at all, and she has a boyfriend... Well, we luckly didnt sleep together because of monthly situations. But we came as close as you could... I'm pretty sure she's planning on breaking up with her current boyfriend (who is a great guy) to try for me, and I'm not interested, but I'm pretty sure I'm leading her on like crazy. :-/ I'm a d-bag

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Ok, just because you are 22 doesn't mean that drinking has to be a social crutch. If you MUST have a drink in your hands - order a rum and coke, MINUS the rum. Why does the drink HAVE to have alcohol in it? If you can't control yourself, then don't start at all. Even better, find some better friends who can think of better things to do than getting plastered every night and bringing you down with them.
It concerns me that you say you will "try to limit" yourself to four or five drinks. I believe five drinks is the definition of a night of binge drinking. If you do that every weekend, then you have a problem. You can't write that off to just being 22 - overdrinking is a serious issue at any age.
Your so-called bosses are not doing you any favors. It sounds like the atmosphere you work in is setting you up for a hard fall. Is this your first job out of school? I'd hate to see you destroy a new career so early by continuing down such a self-destructive path.
Ok, lecture over. Please take care of yourself and do right by yourself. It will be easier to stop now before you spend 10-20 years doing this and destroy your health.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Honestly, I wouldnt worry too much about me in this sense. I have more issues with weight(trying to lose about 15) to drink ALOT. I dont go out every night everyweekend. And even last weekend I only got drunk drunk 1 night. (from thurs-mon) Yes, a friend has a party and I had a few drinks there. Also I went to a bar on sunday, and only had about 3-4 drinks over the course of being out for dinner and after (like 6:30-12:30) So 4 drinks over 4 hours isnt binge drinking in any way IMO.
I know I need to control myself a bit better, but I really dont think I have a drinking problem. So money and weight will be the bigger issue then me being worried about having a drinking problem. Believe me, most people at my office drink WAYY more then I do. I just have a few nights every few months where I take it a bit too far, and I need to stop this.
>>And even last weekend I only got drunk drunk 1 night. (from thurs-mon)
I haven't been "drunk drunk" since...I don't know...a friend's wedding in May? To me, you just seem to have a different perception of what "too much" actually is, probably because your friends are big drinkers (I would guess). Again, not trying to be preachy...although I think I'm verging on it. :P I tend to only get "drunk drunk" a couple times a year...and I usually end up regretting SOMETHING I've done on those nights. :)
Anyway, alcohol has a LOT of calories, too. Look at all the guys with beer guts! haha :) Though 15 pounds isn't bad at all. Costs a lot, too, though I personally was worse off money-wise in college than I was when I got out (and now).
Ok, this is a subject I know a little something about. I wont give you all my credentials, lol, but the bullet points. I was cursed for many years with never "not remembering" anything. I remembered every embarrassing detail. I worked for about a year with Fisher & Paykel, those guys are crazy. Between company stuff where you are doing shots with the top brass, to entertaining accounts . . I got way to caught up in acting like I was on leave in some port of call again. Trust me, your 5 drinks would be a warm up at breakfast. I never treated girls with disrespect. I knew to be cool at work functions. I was always the "baby sitter" keeping folks out of trouble. And I NEVER forgot. (that is what a black out is.) One "could" argue I didn't have a problem. They would be wrong . . lol You at 22 are already in "red flag land". Its not all abut how much you drink. It is about how you react to drinking.
Towards the end of that year I "blacked out" the first time. (Could not remember a thing about the end of the night.) That is a HUGE red flag. Period, everytime. It was the beginning of a turning point. I have almost completely stopped drinking at this point. And frankly, am stopping. What I discovered, it was not as easy as it should have been. You can not control you "urge" to drink once you get started and suffer black outs. You are a binge drinker. Up to you, but you are only 22 . . . do you really want to keep going until you personally discover why it is called a problem and what the "bottom is" that people say you have to hit?. (-: It does stop being fun.
Then again I could be wrong about what I see in this string. In the end, this is a conversation that needs to be had in front of a mirror when you are alone. Doesn't really matter what I think. I just recon I wish someone might have held a mirror up to my face sooner . . .it would have saved a lot of wasted time. (-:
Just my 2 cents
Honeslty, thanks for all the advice, and its not like I dont know I drink a bit to much from time to time, but I really dont think I have a problem at this point. I dont want to be defensive, can we just leave it at that for the moment though??
So, I went on the date this afternoon, lunch at a hibachi.
When I got there it was obvious she was nervous, but it was really cute.
She's really cute and really sweet, BUT she's really.... Peppy is the only word to explain it.
She was like, too happy... Also, she suggested we get sushi, and wanted tempura, but didnt know how to pronounce tempura. Also, she didnt know how to use chop sticks... I dont know why it bothered me... it just seems like one of those things you'd pick up, especially if you enjoy sushi.
I'm pretty sure we'll be going on another date, but she just seemed like a very "one the surface" type of girl. Not really my type, but I'll definatly give it another shot.
It ended with a hug, not butt sexin
>> I'm pretty sure we'll be going on another date, but she just seemed like a very "one the surface" type of girl. Not really my type, but I'll definatly give it another shot. <<
You cannot possibly know someone at all from one lunch date -- I'd say give it at least a few dates. Don't assume she's not your type from one meet, especially if she was nervous - like you said. True colors - and depth - come out after a certain level of comfort is reached.
Who cares that she couldn't pronounce tempura? That's the beautiful thing about dating - you can learn new things from each other. Maybe she'd never been to a Japanese restaurant before.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I agree with tallgirl, and an admission? I have had Japanese food/sushi a number of times before and I still can't say tempura. :) I'm not sure which syllable the emphasis is on.
Anyway, it can't hurt to go out with her again. If you don't want to, then it seems to me more like you don't want to date at all unless she's perfect (for you) right away. That's not going to happen often, I hate to burt your bubble. :)
Okay well the friend, you need to tell her immediately that you are not interested in her in anyway, it is soooo not fair to her to lead her on and you are NOT being a good friend to her by doing that. Tell her that you aren't interested.
As far as work, well getting trashed around your employment, I guess it depends on what type of environment you work in, if it's corporate america, I'd say not a very good impression to be throwing back so much and then talking about sexual history with people, even if they are doing the same, somehow makes you look bad and will somehow bite you in the behind later, if it's a different type of work environment it may not be so bad.
If you like the girl you went out with and want any shot of dating her, you may want to give her a call.
Smile,
Deirdre
To me, it sounds like you've come here to brag a bit about your weekend. "oh no! I made out with a girl, haven't called another and practically had sex with another!"
It's quite clear you're not really trying to change anything, I think you just wanted a little attention. I guess we all do, so I don't ding you for that, but I think we can all save our breath with advice and lectures. :)
have fun!
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