thoughts on being single
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thoughts on being single
| Sun, 03-12-2006 - 6:51am |
I've been single for several months now after a very long relationship. At first it was tough, especially when I would hang out with my friends who aren't single and they start looking for guys to fix me up with, because it just emphasized to me that, to the world, my life is incomplete and that something must be done to erase this blemish called being single or my life will just get worse. Then, of course, there are the lonely nights that only remind me of the fact that I'm sitting here alone not getting any younger.
However, I've decided that thinking these thoughts isn't going to change my situation at all-- only make me feel worse and waste my precious time on this earth. It occurred to recently that overall, my life really isn't so bad. Ever since becoming single, I've been doing things I've always wanted to do like take classes that I haven't had time to take because I was in a relationship, plan trips to places I never went to because my last bf wasn't very adventurous and couldn't afford to go anywhere, and work on projects that I put aside for three years bc of the relationship. I've even started volunteering again which has been fun. Being single really is a time to focus on you and becoming who you want to be. Maybe it's safe to assume this, but don't we all want to have other labels besides wife and mother in the future? I mean, I have friends who married after college and i don't think they've done half the things I've done since we finished college. I also remind myself that I CAN have a full life. There are other poor women out there who maybe have families, but they are bored deep down and wish they had time to do other things... or there are other people who are very ill and they are incapable of doing much with their lives because they are ill. It's dawned on me how lucky I am to just be healthy and capable of going out and enjoying a nice day. It sounds so simple and even silly, but it's really true. Ever have a day when you've got such a bad cold or you got your wisdom teeth out and your laying in bed on painkillers? Imagine having to live that way for months, or years! Remember, we are single, not stuck or sick!! People may treat us like something needs to be fixed, but ignore them. I've had married friends say to me, embrace your ME time because you will never have it again. Maybe this spring or summer I'll start actively dating again-- push my married friends to follow through on introducing me to someone, or just go online. But for now, I really have other things I'd like to focus on before I lose this free time again.
So when those lonely nights come, don't just sit there waiting for the phone to ring or being miserable-- do something for you! It really has worked and made me feel better. Remember, we have the freedom to live our lives the way we want to live them right now. If you've got some extra money, do something special for yourself with it. Married people can't always do that. That money has to go towards children or repairs or other things that suddenly take over your life when you get married. We can hop on a plane or join a fun organization or buy a fabulous new outfit without anyone's blessing. ;-)

This is a fantastic post! I've been feeling exactly the same way lately and couldn't have said it better. One question I have for all of you guys is how old you are? I'm 22 right now and honestly I just like being single so much, being able to do my own thing, not having to worry about what someone else wants. It scares me a little bit though, what hapens if I never want to get married? Are any of you considering that you might stay single for the rest of your life? HOw do you feel about this?
Any thoughts would be great!