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| Thu, 06-15-2006 - 3:06pm |
So... I've started obsessing again about wanting to move away... I've lived "here" all 30 years of my life and I've ALWAYS wanted to move elsewhere but obviously never done it.
Over the years, I've changed the "assumed" location I'd move to - because actually that's the biggest problem... I have NO clue where I'd actually like to move. I know most people say "visit some places" - ummm... I'm thinking "I'd like to move fairly soon - I don't really want to take a couple/few years to travel and find somewhere". the other suggestion "find a job somewhere and move there" okay, yeah I don't exactly have a "profession" I'm not a doctor or a software engineer, etc. what I do is pretty much attainable anywhere I go. Readily available and needed so...
I'm pretty confused right now and while I "say" I'm not moving to run away - to a degree it IS to get away from some local things/people so... maybe I am running away?
How would you go about a) figuring out somewhere to move and b) determining if it's really the place or is it just SELF that's the problem? :(
Bring it.

IMO, if you don't have a burning desire to experience the beaches of San Diego, or the city girl life of New York City, or the quiet small town in Kansas with amazing BBQ -- then you shouldn't move.
I am 31 and have always lived in Denver. Stayed here for school (Boulder, CO) and off and on have thought about moving as well, like you, for something different. I came to realize that - for me - a big part of it was thinking my life would become magically more exciting, full of love, full of amazing friends and adventures *somewhere else.* Finally, I decided I could have all of those things - right here.
I eventually will move to a foreign country for at least a year, and somewhere else in the U.S. for at least a year -- for the experience. But this is home, so I'll make those moves when I have the burning desire to experience a specific place or when a great opportunity arises.
I do think a move is a huge decision -- so make it for the right reasons and give the location a little thought and research before you go. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I know where you're coming from. I've lived in and around Chicago for most of my 35 years. I've seriously contemplated moving at times, and I've come to the conclusion that I would move if, like someone else suggested, I had a "burning desire" to do so. The truth is, I love this city and this area. It's home to me. But I've decided against moving just for the sake of it because I honestly don't feel I'd be happier anywhere else. If I were moving for a particular job, or
I thought I read a post of yours saying you were moving in with P?
No, you didn't dream it... I am living with him... and overall, moving in and living with him these last two weeks have gonna much more smoothly than either of us expected. He truly is my best friend... but as you know... I'm so fearful that's ALL he is! :-s My thoughts about moving away aren't solely due to him or this new situation but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't play a little part. But more than him and this situation - it's family stuff that makes me want to get away and have my OWN life... some times I feel like I can't have a private, non enmeshed life here in the same city! If that makes any sense!?!?
I can't say when I was younger there was anywhere else I dreamed of living and overall... I love KC. Montana holds a certain appeal to me (hence why I vacationed there in 2003 - solo) but it is a little scary to think of just going off on my own to live. But then again I feel like that would be a chance for me to grow and learn just how strong I am. I know I can be independent but in an indefinitely situation!?!? Would I (once enough time has passed to soften current issues) miss my mother?
I can think of about 5 places I *could* move to - but none of 'em have a HUGE pull for me.
I sound pretty pathetic and retarded, don't I! :(
(P.S. the fact that I turned 30 this past Sunday might have a LITTLE to do with all this! :p )
Hello! I actually did what you are thinking about doing. I was born and raised in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and I always assumed I would leave Colorado someday. However, I ended up going to college in Colorado Springs and then I found a job, etc, etc. In my early 20's my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and although she survived her health was never quite the same. I was very close to my mom, so I knew I would never leave her because I wanted to keep an eye on her. I use to tell myself that the only thing keeping me in Colorado was my mom.
Flash forward to 3 years ago and my mom was rediagnosed with cancer, and this time she didn't make it so we lost her 8 months after being rediagnosed. I made a promise to my friends and family not to make any rash decisions for at least a year after my mom died because they wanted to make sure my head was in the right place. The first year after her death came and went and I still remained in Colorado. Into the second year I started thinking about leaving. However, I was afraid of that kind of major change, plus I have a brother who still lives in Colorado and he and I are very close so I was unsure about leaving him.
After about 9 months of some intensive soul searching I knew I would regret it if I never left Colorado. I used my mom as an excuse not to leave when she was alive, but now she was dead so what was my excuse now?! I made the decision to leave Colorado for a lot of reasons, so it definitely was not a spur of the moment decision. I had left a job I hated for a job that I was bored in with no growth potential, so I figured if I was going to start looking for another job I may as well think about looking in another state. I am also single, so I knew this was a good time to leave because I didn't have kids or a husband yet. The majority of my friends were also getting married and having kids and their free time to get together was becoming non-existant. My one good single friend and I began to drift apart because I began to realize that I didn't know her as well as I thought I did, and I didn't like this alternate ego that I had never seen before.
I was very lucky because I have two supportive brothers and supportive friends. They all told me that they could tell that I needed a change, so while they would miss me like crazy I needed to make this move. I ended up moving to Arizona because one of my brothers lived there with his wife and I had visited several times and I really enjoyed it. Thanks to my sister in law I was able to locate a job before I moved down there and I love my new job because it is in a totally new career field for me with tons of possibilities!
I have been in Arizona now for about 3 months and I am not going to lie and say everything has been perfect because it hasn't. I have never lived in another state so there is more to do then I realized when you move to another state, and I also have a dog, so it has been a harder transition for him then it was for me, which in turn has stressed me out. I have been homesick on occasion for the familiarity of my hometown, but I DO NOT regret my decision to leave. I was not very happy in Colorado, and I am one of those people who will take the bull by horns and not blame anyone else for my unhappiness. Making this change was a good move for me, but I agree with a lot of the other posters - you need to do what is right for you, but make sure it is the right decision for you, and not necessarily a spur of the moment decision you make because you want to run away from something or someone. It isn't cheap to move, and depending on where you move to it can be a culture shock! Luckily I have already made new friends in Arizona, and taking the plunge to move to a new state where the only people I knew were my brother and his wife was empowering. I feel like I can do anything now, and I wouldn't give up that feeling for anything!
Good luck with your decision and hope this helped a little!
Leigh
Very interesting post actually! Especially since Colorado has always been a place I've considered (Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, etc.) I don't have family anywhere else (well except Las Vegas and that holds NO interest for me) so moving somewhere else truly is moving somewhere where I know "no one"!
I don't know what I'm doing! I'm pretty confused right now and that makes me think I'm just trying to run away (and yet, I KNOW moving somewhere north interests me so... who knows).
Thank you all for your posts!
The nice thing about moving to Colorado from somewhere else is that almost everyone here is from out of state. So, there are a lot of newbies looking for new friends and other newbies to hang out with -- especially in Denver, but also somewhat in the Springs, Boulder and Ft. Collins.
Heck, even as a native Coloradan, it's been nice for me to have all the newbies around because I've been able to make a lot of new friends in the past couple of years.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I have moved a number of times through my adult years (overage is every 2 years). And I have learned (finally) that no matter where I go, I am always there... making the same life for myself that I had before. Neither bad nor good.. just the same.
I have learned that the next time I move (and there will be one more) that I will stop trying to move away from my life that I am unhappy with and instead make a move to the life I desire. I will move toward the achieving of my goals. Running away doesn't work, but moving with a specific purpose does.
Good luck.