Three men.....

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Three men.....
5
Sun, 07-28-2013 - 11:28am
...and none of them suitable. Guy #1- The one I had a brief thing with back in May. He keeps resurfacing, but I'm 99% sure all he wants is sex. He's never flat out said it, or even that he doesn't want a relationship, but he stopped trying to even see me a long time ago so I'm not considering him dating material at all. However, if I wanted to just have sex, I'm sure he'd oblige. I do like him as a person, so I'm trying to remain friendly. I've seen/heard from him about every two weeks this summer. His status: friendly acquaintance. Guy #2- The one from back in December who was SUPER into me, asked my friends all about me, asked me to come see his band and hang out with him at a party at his place (I said no- I wasn't comfortable with that then). Eventually I got tired of him not actually asking me out despite behaving like he wanted to. I called him on it. He said- you guessed it- he didn't want a relationship. To his credit, he never tried to get physical with me. I still see him regularly and we went through a period where he was a jerk, and I was pretty witchy to him. We're back to being friendly again. Yet...another guy who doesn't want a relationship. His status at the moment: fun to flirt with, no potential. Then there's Guy #3- The only one not in a band. We go to the same karaoke place occasionally. I don't go there often, but I think he does. We've never talked at all until about a month ago. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. Last night, we got to talking again, and he asked if I had a boyfriend. I told him no, and he gave me his card and said he'd go out with me (I told him there were men, but none interested in actually dating). I had kind of gotten the feeling he was interested before, so I wasn't shocked. He's a car salesman, really tall, and possibly older than I'd prefer. I'm not sure, though. The problem? I don't really find him attractive. He's one of those goofy guys that people like, but you're not sure if you can take seriously. His status: I'd like to be friends. That's about it. It sucks that the ones we are into always seem to have an issue or don't want a relationship, and the ones into us are the ones we don't want anything with. I think I'm going to hold on to tall guy's card and maybe text him the next time I go to that place. I mean he put himself out there and all. It won't be for at least two weeks, so it's not like I'll seem eager to see him. Part of me wonders if I should give him a chance since the ones I have been picking don't seem to ever work out, but I just can't imagine even kissing this guy! I don't know if it'd be fair to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
In reply to: shywon
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 9:45am

If you can't imagine kissing him, it means you don't have chemistry which is something you can't control, so it'll never work. I wouldn't communicate with him, because he'll think you're interested and have his feelings hurt. Have you every tried meetups.com? You might find some success there, joining meetup groups for singles in your age group, who meet up for outdoor activities and other things like clubbing or going to festivals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 12:13pm

Shy;

There is a book I got awhile ago and the title was "How to find love in 90 days" by a woman who;s name I think is Kirschner or something.... Anyway;; She says in the book to date three men at a time and the one who makes the committment is the one ... Not sure any of your guys are making a true committment to you and you decide to drop all of them then that is your choice..

In this case I would probably use my gut and intuition to make a decision on what to do......give it some time and see who steps up to the plate in what you are looking for....

If none of them fit the bill then I guess its time to find others..

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 12:49pm

Free- I'm pretty sure none of them fit the bill, which is why it's so frustrating. It's like seeing a spread of beautiful, tasty food....covered with flies. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 2:32pm

It IS frustrating, no doubt.  But I've been in that sitaution before, when you have a date with a guy you're really not attracted to, and it's usually not fun.  

I can't even seem to find the buffet table!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 08-03-2013 - 4:41pm
"Date three men at a time"... I can´t even find ONE single guy! Oh, except one, the bass playing guy who happens to be my neighbour. I can look directly down on his balcony from mine, which is a bit embarrassing. Especially because he is not interested in me, I got that when he never answered to my FB message after their concert in late December. I think he has a girlfriend again now. So annoying, he fits right into all my "checked" boxes... But then again, this has happened to me more than once before.