Timid, vulnerable and nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Timid, vulnerable and nervous
7
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 12:01am

I really need some perspective from you, please. I have to grow up someday soon in the way I handle my relationship life, and today is just as good a day as any.

This is about how to proceed with John on the 10th.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 1:54pm

Thank you both.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 12:34pm

I wouldn't waste my time on a man who hasn't even decided whether to get a divorce yet.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 11:12am

It is what dating is, but it seems like you get blinded really easily and have a very hard time saying "no thanks" when a fatal flaw appears...like the fact that this one led you to believe he was leaving, but now says he's not sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 10:57am

Shy, I kind of at this point picture it as a target.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 10:09am

If you are that nervous you can always take a tranquilizer ..but I want to tell a story and try to make it short..It reminded me of how nervous and sick I was after the fact.

I remember one time when I was a singer in a band I totally loved the lead guitarist.. We had become friends and we hung out every so often and got food or we played tennis or rode bikes.. That was it.. I didnt know where he lived or what he did or anything else about him. One night he was over my apt.. and we had sex.. I was totally head over heals for him.. I assumed that we might have a relationship.

The next day I was getting a hair cut and my hair dresser happened to be talking about a wedding that took place a week ago and that she did the bride's hair and the wedding party. I said who was it.. ? She then named my lead guitarisit and his wife.. I almost fell off the chair.. Lead guitarist had just gotten married the day before he had sex with me.. Now we had known each other for a year but he decides to do this the day before he gets married. I left hairdresser in shock and tears.. I called said man and I went crazy on him.I said do not ever call me or see me again. If I see you anywhere I will run you over with my car and oh; I am out of your band and I am putting a curse on it.. and I will so sabatogue any girl singer you try and get for the band and I did at one point. that was the bad girl in me now reformed..I also slept with his best friend who was the drummer in the band for revenge.

So a few months passes and he calls me and says he wants to see me and talk, . so I went to meet him at a cafe and I was sooooooooooooooo sick to my stomach and nervous and I had to pull the strength of Hercules and suck up every emotional bone in my body. I was ready to tell him off in person while I was sitting there literally shaking and wanting to go for his throat.. All he did was apologize and I just sat there and wanted to die... I had every sick feeling in

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 8:30am
I'd be ticked because it seems like he led you to believe he was leaving her. Does she know he's coming to see you?

I dunno Marina...I've heard too often that a guy is "it" for you to really know what to tell you here. What is your motivation for seeing him in the first place? What is his?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2011
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 3:53am
If i were in your shoes i will be cautious of a man who is "a bad picker of women"because i might someday become bad to him.Unless u have just sex feelings for him,i don't think he is worth keeping.