Online dating is a flawed concept. In fact, any classified ad based dating where you have easy access to a lot of people, or at least potential access, is a flawed concept. Be prepared to loose your individuality. Regardless of your looks, personality or career you are now just another apple in a big basket of apples. You have one evening to sell. And even if the picker finds a nice apple, it doesn't necessarily mean he or she is going to stop looking for an even bigger and a juicier one.
Go the old fashioned way. Don't go out on a date with a person you don't know well and haven't met outside of a dating circumstance. Yes, your choices are fewer but likely better, and , there are no surprises, no pressure selling and no result anxiety(return call).
I think this is a first, but I actually agree with CapeG.
When you have so many people to chose from, as in online dating, there is always a mentality of, "if she is this great, just think of how great the next one will be". Too many people to chose from only makes people try to find more perfection, which does not exist. Or they keep you on the back burner, not wanting to let you go, but not really wanting to commit to anything either just in case somebody better does comes along.
Try dating the old-fashioned way. Have you thought about asking your family and friends to set you up with people?
I don't understand why they do this, especially when they start making plans to see you again. I think the same thing is happening with a guy I've been out with several times already. We started off talking on the phone a lot, had good fun dates, we went out again last weekend, and since then, I haven't heard a thing from him, no text, no calls, nothing. And the funny thing is he mentioned wanting to introduce me to some of his friends this weekend and also wanted to make plans for the following weekend. So unless he just assumes that we're already set for this weekend and he doesn't have to make any effort until Thursday night, I just feel like it's headed nowhere. Who knows, maybe he will just call this Thursday like nothing has happened, maybe it's only me being a woman who wants reassurance, but I think that after several good dates the guy should know to call more than once a week, no?
Like you, I'm starting to wonder what's going on, if I'm saying or doing things that offend them or what. The crazy thing is, none of these guys are those high and mighty "I look like Brad Pitt and and make a lot of money and know it" types. Like you, I believe I'm attractive, very well-educated, fun, willing to try new things... in one case with one of these guys who faded away on me I knew that I could have easily done better but I wanted to be more open minded and give him a chance despite his obvious flaws that would turn away some women (somewhat overweight and balding), and then it was HIM who stopped calling with no reason.
Go the old fashioned way. Don't go out on a date with a person you don't know well and haven't met outside of a dating circumstance. Yes, your choices are fewer but likely better, and , there are no surprises, no pressure selling and no result anxiety(return call).
Edited 10/8/2007 11:41 pm ET by capegirardeau
I think this is a first, but I actually agree with CapeG.
When you have so many people to chose from, as in online dating, there is always a mentality of, "if she is this great, just think of how great the next one will be". Too many people to chose from only makes people try to find more perfection, which does not exist. Or they keep you on the back burner, not wanting to let you go, but not really wanting to commit to anything either just in case somebody better does comes along.
Try dating the old-fashioned way. Have you thought about asking your family and friends to set you up with people?
That is definitely a good way to look at online dating.
A few great dates and then, poof. Same thing I've been going through. There's even a good article about this phenomenon that I came across recently:
http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/columns/nakedcity/9736/
I don't understand why they do this, especially when they start making plans to see you again. I think the same thing is happening with a guy I've been out with several times already. We started off talking on the phone a lot, had good fun dates, we went out again last weekend, and since then, I haven't heard a thing from him, no text, no calls, nothing. And the funny thing is he mentioned wanting to introduce me to some of his friends this weekend and also wanted to make plans for the following weekend. So unless he just assumes that we're already set for this weekend and he doesn't have to make any effort until Thursday night, I just feel like it's headed nowhere. Who knows, maybe he will just call this Thursday like nothing has happened, maybe it's only me being a woman who wants reassurance, but I think that after several good dates the guy should know to call more than once a week, no?
Like you, I'm starting to wonder what's going on, if I'm saying or doing things that offend them or what. The crazy thing is, none of these guys are those high and mighty "I look like Brad Pitt and and make a lot of money and know it" types. Like you, I believe I'm attractive, very well-educated, fun, willing to try new things... in one case with one of these guys who faded away on me I knew that I could have easily done better but I wanted to be more open minded and give him a chance despite his obvious flaws that would turn away some women (somewhat overweight and balding), and then it was HIM who stopped calling with no reason.