Tired of Dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Tired of Dating
3
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 8:14pm

Ok I'm only 23 and already tired of dating. I have a problem I don't know how to be by myself. I always feel like I have to be dating someone or in a serious relationship. Well for the past year and a half it seems that every guy I date turns out to be horrible. They all start off very sweet in the beginning but then turn into a**holes after the 3rd month.

Recently I met a guy about two weeks ago and as hard as this is to say I slept with him on the first date. Please don't judge me because I'm really not that type of person that sleeps around. I regret it so much and the thing that hurts even more is that now he's disappeared. I don't know what came over me but I think I just needed some attention and that's the problem I always feel like I need attention from men. I'm so hurt by this and I don't know why because I barely knew him so there wasn't any emotional attachment there but maybe it's just the simple fact that I've been through so much with men. I guess I just thought that he was nice and I could trust him. After sleeping together that night we actually saw each other 4 times after that and talked every night and then all of a sudden he stopped calling. I just don't want to keep making the same mistakes over and over again with men. I trust way too fast.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 10:28am

The most important relationship we have is with ourselves, but it's the one we can give the least attention! Unfortunatly you won't be happy in any relationship until you are happy with yourself and content in being alone. There's this pressure put on young women that if you're not in a relationship or 'wanted' by a man that you're not desirable. HA. It took me so long to figure the one out on my own.

You just have to force yourself to be 'on your own'. At first it will be pretty tough, you'll feel like you have so much time on your hands and too much time to think. Just let it be, let yourself think, and be scared, and be unsure of maybe who you are and what you want. Start doing things soley for you...not thinking of what kind of guys you might meet there or what not. Focus on you making you feel happy & fulfilled.

It's a tough little journey but a very important one! If you need anything you know where to find support & advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 6:40pm

Hazel,

I agree with Sephora totally . . . in addition, as a man I can say, at least for myself, women who don't need a man are much more more appealing to men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:26am
Yuppers, guys find independance so freaking sexy! LOL. It's lack of pressure, he knows he can explore your 'gf potential' without you getting all attached and clingy. We all like to be needed, but if someone strikes us as 'needy' it's usually too much pressure and we bail. I've had a couple guys who have come across needy and I bolt for the door! Guys bolt ever quicker I think!