Tired of Dating and Dealing with it's Situations

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Tired of Dating and Dealing with it's Situations
Mon, 01-27-2014 - 12:34am

I have been single for 3 years now, I have gone on dates none worked out. I've tried the online dating where the person of choice is in another state and I am in another state but that never worked either. All I am getting or ever get is guys messaging me with photos of their penis or asking me if I would want to hook-up or do a friends with benefits thing or if I am bi or a lesbian or would be willing to do a threesome or have a threesome relationship etc. The list is endless really and yeah I know a lot of you have probably dealt with the same if not similar or weirder experiences.

Or I have dealt with the usual the guy says he is interested then never talks to me except the one time we really talked then he disappears, coming back way later to say he was still interested when he clearly was not.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I am only 26 years old I know I am young but I don't want to find my partner when I am 35 or 40 thats too old and we won't be able to live long and grow old together as long as if I had met them while I am still young.

I don't know anymore I am tired of trying to find someone, it seems like I won't be able to find anyone who meets what I am looking for. Another thing people keep bothering me about is the fact that I dislike and never want kids of my own. Who cares? Not everyone wants kids there is nothing wrong with that.

Also the fact that yes I am one a Virgin and how I should have sex now not wait until I am 30 or 35 or even 40. Who cares about sex? Sex causes a lot of problems, drama, diseases, pregnancy, etc. I would rather wait until I am married because to me it's what I want to do, and the right thing to do.

Again to me I am just tired of trying and just don't know what to do.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

Well honey, you are creating your own problems.  Your positions on having children and sex, narrow the field considerably.  Add to that, most groups that advocate being a virgin till marriage, also eschew birth control, and believe it is a woman's duty to have children.  So now you have REALLY limited the kind of man who would be interested in you.  Finally, your tone is quarrelsome and inflexible.  A spot of counseling might be in order here.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Well, geez. I guess I should just give up. I'm obviously "too old" to ever get married. Your attitude is holding you back. I remember previous posts from you and you seem to have a very negative view of men and dating. Get off the free dating sites. They attract pervs and casual sex/hookup guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008

If nothing has changed since your previous posts, you are living at home, don't have a driver's license (not a big deal in NYC or maybe even SFO, but in the LA area, you are what you drive), don't have stable employment, don't want sex before marriage, don't want children, demand that your BF not to do drugs, smoke, or drink (the first two seems reasonable enough, but rejecting a social drinker?), and the list goes on.

The question is, what do you have to OFFER to justify that long list of DEMANDS?  (Not being mean or sarcastic here, and stand alone, none of the items on your list is a deal killer, but put them all together) ...