Is this too critical?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Is this too critical?
3
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 10:46am

So I have a date this Friday...woo hoo, after several months of doing my own thing I'm actually going out with someone. I don't know the details yet but I'm really hoping he picks somewhere decently nice...not expensive but not a chain. I kinda feel like it's his first 'test'...I don't want to do something I can do anytime by myself, I wanna go somewhere new and we live so close to the city. Am I being too critical? If he picks Olive Garden should I not feel like he might be a little uninventive and cheap?

I wouldn't say I'm picky...but I haven't dated a guy my own age in a few years and I guess I like that older guys tend to pick kinda cool places that are different and unique.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 12:20pm

I am cracking up. My girlfriend and I once got into a little tiff because she was making fun of her date for taking her to The Olive Garden. For some reason I became absolutely incensed.

This is my honest opinion and I in no way mean to offend you. Also, I realize that my view is not shared by everyone. I personally could care less where a guy takes me. For me, if he were to take me to some trendy hot spot downtown, I might wonder if he's just trying to impress me.

Also, again, don't meant to offend, I like down to earth guys. Not that a guy who would take me somewhere trendy couldn't also be down to earth. I do have to admit though, for some reason, I get turned off by name droppers(hot new restaurants or clubs, not people, although that is nauseating sometimes, too).

In the end, you are the one who needs to make the judgment call. Everyone is different. I almost prefer local eateries because I always know how to dress, know how much to expect to pay, know exactly what I'm getting and I don't have to worry about paying to park or hiking a long distance in inclement weather. I do however have girlfriends who like to go to the hot spots downtown whether they be on a date or just out with friends. If that's what you like, that's what you like.

--Have fun on your date : ) Let us know how it goes!




Edited 12/6/2006 12:24 pm ET by bbw_26
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 3:11pm

Your response was not harsh at all...you phrased everything very well and I wasn't the least offended. I kinda sat on this all day and might have come to a conclusion. First, I'm not used to dating guys my own age so I'm kinda worried that he'll be a dud even though I already know he has a cool personality. Second, I was with a guy for over a year who was soo frivilous with money that he could never afford to take me to a remotely nice place...it was also Denny's or Perkins. Now granted just being with him was enough but his irresponsibility with money contributed to the downfall of the relationship. I also want a guy who knows how to act in a nicer place and feels comfortable...

Okay okay so I understand that I cannot make numerous conclusions simply from where we decide to go to dinner. Instead I need to keep an open mind and just have fun...if I were a guy I would not take a girl to a nice place for the first date because THAT'S a waste of money - she could be completely nuts and then I'd be out $65 or more. lol.

Thanks for kicking me back to reality a bit!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 8:09pm

You bring up some good points. It is nice to go somewhere out of the ordinary every once in a while, somewhere off the beaten path. That doesn't always have to mean more money, either. I can also identify with wanting to date someone who knows how to conduct themselves in an upscale environment. That makes sense to me.

I dated a guy similar to your "frivolous spender". We went to The Melting Pot one year for my mom's birthday and my older sister had to pick up our tab. I was mortified.

Yeah, go with low expectations and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised! I know that sounds awful but . . .