Too many options?
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Too many options?
| Fri, 12-02-2005 - 3:49pm |
I'm curious: is there such a thing as having too many options when you're dating?
I have tried many new ways of meeting people - online, speed dating, set ups by friends, and just meeting guys the old-fashioned way (still my favorite). The problem is, if I am dating - or even just communicating - with three or four guys at a time, it's just draining. I get to the point that I don't want to go out with people anymore or even answer the phone because I am overwhelmed.
So, while you are looking for someone worth becoming exclusive with, how many people do you date at a time? How many is too many?
Also, anyone else get tired of going on lots of first dates - or even second and third dates - that don't seem all that special?

I've never dated more than one person at a time for two reasons.
I have a friend who dates a bunch of guys at once and I have no clue how she has the energy or even the patience to juggle. In my experience, not only is it draining to date around, but usually things don't last long enough with a guy to have that much overlap between guys. Usually after a date or two, if things are merely so-so between me and a guy, either he or I will probably stop calling the other. If on the other hand, after a few dates, things are great between me and a guy, I would lose interest in any others that were potentially in the picture and focus on that guy.
I think 3 is the optimal number...any more than that, and it gets exhausting and confusing. Generally, what I find is, after a few weeks to a month, there is some natural attrition (either I lose interest in a particular guy or he loses interest in me), so the person I'm most interested in and who is most interested in me is left. If I'm not yet sure about whether I want to date that person exclusively, I may go on a few first meets with other guys to see if I meet anyone else I'm interested in, but usually by a month to six weeks into it, I'm getting to the point where I'm pretty sure I'd like to date that person exclusively.
And yes, I do get tired of seemingly endless early stage dates...but it's a necessary part of the process, so I keep doing it.
Sheri
Thanks for your input everyone.
After coming out of a long-term relationship a year ago, I guess this dating thing is just confusing! It's nice to get feedback from others in the same boat. :-)
AJ, enjoying life with C.