Too Much Emotion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Too Much Emotion
9
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 1:05am
What can I do so that I do not invest too much emotion in a new girl? I understand that there are tons of girls out there, but I just cannot stop myself from emotional attachment. Help!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 10:45am

Let me ask you this: Does a lion get to know his prey before he attacks?

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 2:18pm
What do you mean by "new girl"? Is this someone you are dating or someone you have just met?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:39pm
Although I did recently meet some one I like, my question is referring to a bad habit that I put too much emotion in a girl whom I just meet. One solution is to play the number game, to talk to more girls, but -- this may be a personality flaw -- when I am not interested in the girl, I get bored very quickly by the conversation. For example, today at volleyball, I talked to many different girls, but it is hard when you are not enjoying the person or the conversation .... Perhaps I should be more open-minded and dig deeper into a girl's personality.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:07pm

I am confused. I don't see how you can become emotionally vested in someone when you claim: "Perhaps I should be more open-minded and dig deeper into a girl's personality". What are you getting emotionally hooked on? Hmm? *Wink*

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:16pm

>>>What are you getting emotionally hooked on?<<<

The strong hope and desire that she will want you back and give herself to you. I think I suffer from the same problem. Whenever I'm talking to a girl, I too get fumbled up because I can't help but really hope she'll like me and I'm afraid of embarrassing myself in front of her. Then when she turns me down when I ask her out on a date, or more often, when I lose an opportunity to ask her out because I was too afraid, it really hurts because you were really hoping they'd take you.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:32pm
Why are you guys hoping that they would take you when you have not yet given yourselves the opportunity to know them? Moreover, why would they take you when they have not gotten to know you either? I don't know about the other women on this board, but I have never been asked out on a date upon first meeting a guy. It's more of a gradual process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:40pm
Yup, it is lust, and I will not sugar-coat it.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 9:57pm
Then what you are experiencing is not emotion my friend. It's called hormones. Some men are lucky and eventually grow out of it ; )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: akt226
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 5:22pm
You don't necessarily have to play the numbers game if that's not who you are. Personally, when I play the numbers game I get more confused and then I don't feel for any of them because it's more like an interview than a date. It's a good idea to try to keep your emotions in check though at the beginning. If you really like one person, you can concentrate on dating that one person but be cautious at the beginning. Sometimes it's hard to be cautious though because like you, I am one to get emotionally attached easily. Just keep up your full/busy life with hobbies, friends etc etc and try not to invest too much time in that person at the beginning before you become exclusive and get to know them better.