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| Mon, 10-03-2005 - 12:22pm |
I haven't dated anyone since FOB I've messed around with my ex (the one before FOB) like once a year since then...well we went out this friday and saturday. I mean I hadn't had sex in over a year, and then he called and we went out for lunch, and it happened. I just feel so guilty about it though, like I felt bad about myself, I don't know why. I guess part of me felt like if I had already waited this long I could wait until I met someone I can possibly have a future with. But I haven't met anyone, I'm always busy though, I work go to school, and my son. I always figured that when FOB had visitations with my son that would be my time, to do as I pleased, because until this month he'll start taking him over nights so why do I feel like this??? My ex was someone that I was so inlove with, we were together for almost 2 years, and although my feelings aren't the same, I'm not sure what I feel, I know for sure though that we would never get back together, as he'd rather start a family of his own and not join one (mean, I know), I guess I feel lonely, and I realized that what I miss is having a partner to be around, to support eachother, etc, not necessarily someone to have sex with. UGH, I don't know anymore, (if you have kids) Do you guys ever feel like all you are is a mom, like what about the woman part, you know?? I mean I love my son more than anything, I don't even leave him to go out, because I feel like I already leave him to go to work and to go to school, but lately all these feelings are getting more intense
