Off Topic.. (Married friends)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Off Topic.. (Married friends)
13
Sun, 01-13-2013 - 1:32pm

Hi everyone:

This might sound petty and jealous but I wanted to ask you guys how you feel about your married friends and all?

When I was growing up I had a best friend who lived across the street from me.. Many years ago she got married and moved to Florida with her husband and son. Well I hadnt spoken to her nor heard from her in years until last year. She found me on facebook.. Since that time we have been facebooking and chatting on the phone.. She always invites me to where she lives but since money is very tight I havent t hought about going yet..

When on facebook she chats or she calls me and she starts saying how her and her husband are doing this or that and how much fun they have and it all sounds like a great life.. Okay I am happy for her but here I sit all sad and alone hanging by a thread .. (yes that is dramatic but that is how I feel at times) Aging alone and living in a room. My friend has this nice house and garden and her life seems so great..with her house and her things and all of that and her dog...

I feel like I dont even want to talk to her anymore nor can I relate to her anymore...

It just makes me sad, mad and jealous ..

thanks

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 7:11pm

I know what you mean by comparison to others.  The people I work with (except my clueless boss) are just regular working people, like one of the girls will come in and be proud if she bought a dress for $5 in the after Christmas sale.  I joined a women's group a couple of years ago and although the women there are very nice, they are older, mostly married (I forgot if I mentioned that before) and they are definitely well off.  They aren't trying to brag but a few of them have a winter place in florida, they are going on vacations all the time, or I've been to a couple of their houses and they are just so much nicer than mine that I would be embarrassed to have anyone over.  So I feel bad that I can't do all that stuff, esp. travel.  Even my friend who makes over $100,000 is complaining that she has no money to go anywhere, which is kind of ridiculous but I know she is paying some of her son's college loans.  She has a very  nice house, so probably a very big mortgage too--otherwise she' not that extravagant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 7:48am

Hi,

First of all, I'd like to say that I really appreciate and admire the positivity everyone has expressed here on the board about being single.  There are definitely some perks to it and being married with kids I'm sure is not always as picture perfect as it seems.  But, people do have a way of posting these things on FB that make their lives seem picturesque......

There are definitely advantages to being single......for example, I like my time on my own and would have a really hard time having to drop kids off at daycare, etc. and pick them up while working a full time job (just being honest - I see many women doing this and I imagine it makes for an extremely long day).

I think the main thing that my married friends take for granted though is the financial security that comes along with either one or both of you having a good full time job.  I know a couple of people who are SAHMs and you seem them posting about their latest vacation (??? how much must it cost to travel with kids ???) and another who posts "nights out" where she goes in a limo.....Another friend of mine too got laid off but had a vacation booked.......here she is unemployed and posting pictures of herself in a tropical destination with palm trees, etc. at a resort........

If I sound jealous and bitter........I guess I am in that regard.  I know being single you have to appreciate the opportunities you have that much more, but I think for some married wives the concept of scraping by month to month or just plain not being able to afford things doesn't come into the picture.......and frequent holidays seem to be the norm.

That is just the people I know and see on FB, etc.......I'm sure though that there are many married couples out there struggling as well.......

Mel :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 4:39pm
You never know what people owe on their credit cards....you never know who is being abused behind closed doors...who is worried that their kid is on drugs or their teenager will end up with a child...one thing I like about Ivillage is the viewpoints it gives me on all kinds of women and their lives...

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