Type of guy you prefer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Type of guy you prefer?
11
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 5:17am

I read somewhere(I cant remember) that the least desirable type of guy was "the loner" type. I kind of identify with being a loner and wanted to know why women dont like that type of guy...I only ask because this type was voted to be more undesirable than an abusive controlling man which came in second. So I am basically asking for womens opinions on the following personality types:

The Loner Type
Controlling Type
Work-a-holic Type
Jock Type
Shy Type
Class Clown Type
Religious and Political Type

I know people cant be specifically classified into one category and that many people dont fit into these categories...I am just asking a question about these types and how women feel about them and spark some interesting conversations about personality traits you might seek in a prospective mate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:04am
I don't have any particular type. I like all kinds of guys. I can say I do NOT like religious types. Won't mesh well with my personality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:10am

Without reading the descriptions of each different guy, it's hard to say (was this an article here on ivillage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:43am

The Loner Type: Depends. Some loners are friendly but like to be alone and some are unfriendly and antisocial. I would have to check his personality because I don't like someone antisocial or unfriendly because they seem to be weird.
Controlling Type: I don't like controlling me as they tend to be jerks.

Work-a-holic Type: He would most likely put career/job before me.

Jock Type: Hard to say. Sometimes sports are more important to him than a woman and he can be unromantic in my opinion.

Shy Type: I love a shy man but not overly shy where he can't loosen up especially around me. I don't want to hold his hand all the time but I love a man who blushes and I love a shy man but again not overly shy where he can't make decisions or even approach me.

Class Clown Type: Some of them never take anything seriously and can be too annoying.

Religious and Political Type: Boring. Do not try to change my view point. Don't tell me I drink to much, curse too much or whatever and don't try to change my political views because Liyah's not having it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:22am
The Old Maids board also has an interesting thread about what women are looking for in men (for those who are not afraid to look there :)). May be helpful for the OP if he wants to know what different women value in men.


Edited 7/10/2006 10:58 am ET by pimbiroo
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:49am

My ex was the loner type. I adored him, but his general dislike of people did cause problems in our relationship and was the eventual cause of our breakup. He wasn't able to truly share his space or life with me.

So, I think loners can be great (I love my alone time, so I can relate), but only if they have found a way to really let a partner into their heart and their life.

If I had to choose a favorite "type" from your list below, I'd have to go with political (not sure "religious" should be lumped in with it, though) -- because they have passion about something outside of themselves.

But, as you said, nobody can be boxed into just one type. I love getting to know an individual because of that. It's amazing what you discover about someone when you uncover their many layers.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:17am

"Class Clown Type: Some of them never take anything seriously and can be too annoying."


I agree - I forgot to add that to my synopsis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:31am

"his general dislike of people did cause problems in our relationship and was the eventual cause of our breakup. He wasn't able to truly share his space or life with me. "


I had the same problem with my "loner" ex - his parents were very much like hermits as well - they lived in rural Florida and bought a TON of land to build their house on, then erected a fence around their property so they could literally have no neighbors, or at least, not close ones.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 1:37pm

>>My ex didn't understand why at Christmas I LOVE seeing my WHOLE family. I love a Christmas filled with a whole day of seeing all my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, even friends sometimes...<<

I'm like that, too. My ex couldn't handle being around my family (parents, sisters, brothersw-in-law, grandma, aunt...) for more than two hours.

I think it was partially because he was an only child, and had a small extended family. he also admitted that he didn't really like people, either.

The more I think about that, the more I know I would have been miserable with him in the long run. I like people way too much to be a hermit and antisocial.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 2:05pm

Me, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 6:56pm

Depends on how you define loner. To me, being a "loner" means being someone who is strong enough to be independent, does need others to validate their self worth and not feel the need to follow the crowd. Someone who can live life on their own and who is comfortable being single until the "right person" comes along rather than always needing to be in a relationships because of a crutch or feeling societal pressure to get married just because they've reached a certain age. I consider myself like this and thus also might be considered a loner. I think I'd definitely perfer this type of "loner" to any of those types.

If one the other hand, someone is a loner b/c they have no social graces, are socially awkward, have no self esteem and can't make a friend to save their life...than yep, that's obviously pretty undesirable and not someone I'd prefer to be with at all. So again, its all in the definitions!

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