Ugh. I put my profile back up
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Ugh. I put my profile back up
| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 7:20pm |
The thought makes me a little nauseous and I'm not sure that I'll keep it up, but I rewrote my profile and put up new pictures on Saturday, and then made it searchable on Sunday.

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After reading through this entire thread and coming to this one sentence...
"It seems like most of them fit into a category, and it's not usually "normal man"."
I really had to think for a moment, when was the last time a NORMAL MAN -- that would be some guy who is _____________________ (fill in that blank for us guys).
I found my last two relationships on Match. The previous one lasted two yrs. Being the social class she is in and mine are very different -- we never would have met. She is a dentist and me - sales. Our paths would never have crossed and I enjoyed so much and learned sooo many things during that time (including some Polish) and more about WWII that I never read in books or saw in the movies.
My current SO, we are living together -- we have 4 kids between us and there are those ROUGH moments but I am just crazy for her!!! I dated many women that said one thing on the profile and were very different in person. Or the profile were they say this is a recent pic (where she is a size 10) BUT she did let herself go and now is about a 18... and that "hoping to quit smoking" in her profile -- she smoked almost 1/4 of a pack during our coffee meeting.
So - we guys see many of the same things that women do. I know my SO has mentioned the different type of guys that responded to her profile too.
Some of the things are think are sooooo reduntant and blantely obvious is "my kids come first" or "my family always comes first" -- any of those typcial things that seem to be in 85% to 90% of the profiles. (Any guy that is family orientated will understand that a child's needs come over that of dating -- BUT, there is also the place where the parent that has relied on the child for his/her identity must break away too. What do I mean?
I mean, I take my kid(s) here and there and involved in this sport/school with my son/daughter... that is all well and good -- but what about YOU...
Take a look at the profiles out there... Then make yours stand-out as not being like those other ones. Define who that "normal guy" you are looking for is... Define the list of things you WANT TO SEE in the guy --- your top 10 must haves and think your mind the next 10 things in a guy you would love to see... THEN,
In your profile -- what are the top 10 things that you just do not want to see -- or sort of meander through it... Now, this will not stop all the stupid responses... but also drop some unique thing about you (ask friends if your idea of unique is right) that can help to stimulate an online convo.
I read a few books and finally came to analyze who it was I AM and who it is that I am really looking for -- this helped to narrow things for me and help to stream line my profile too.
I have gone out with numerous women that there was not a "match" but we are friends yet. MOF, there are a few guys that my SO is friends with -- just not any connection. Does it bother either of us - no because it is in the open, nothing is hidden and we ARE IN LOVE. MOF, I helped to take some new pics for one woman and then helped her stream line her profile too. I knew her from the few "dates" and things we did -- ended up just going to the races together -- neither of us had the kids that weekend and neither of us had dates -- the tickets were free... :) We had fun.
Each of us also needs to know the other critical part of the equation of a relationship - what type of sexual person are you? What is your "wants" in the relationship for intimacy, the type of intimacy (are you open to try things or more reserved in the "traditional"), are you open to PDA or is that left behind the bedroom door and then who are you looking for...
The reason I bring this up, many times (and going to other boards you see this) as I have experienced it -- the compatibility sexually must be close -- if one is far too reserved and the other more adventureous -- that will lead to problems down the road. Just as any of the "other" top 10 items will.
--
You know, I am sure you have seen this where on a profile there is very little for the other person to really question or start a conversation on. I have found this numerous times.
Even the "normal guy" as I wrote to shywon needs have something to respond to...
I think I will start a thread here -- define the NORMAL GUY for us guys...
Hehehe...there's the alarm, and also when it announces that the "Virus database has been updated." I hate when that goes off in the middle of the night (my computer is in my bedroom).
Smile,
Deirdre
>>Anyway, it seems like people are way too busy to actually meet anyone anymore, which is why I know online is my best bet. <<
You're probably right. I know I'll likely give it another shot soon, but I think I'll always secretly harbor the hope of meeting someone great through friends (how I met my ex), at a party, at the dog park, in line at the grocery store... Ah, fantasies. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
>>What about "exclamation point man" or "no photo provided man" or "adventure man". I could go on and on. It seems like most of them fit into a category, and it's not usually "normal man".<<
So true. I think almost every guy in Colorado should be labeled "adventure man." OR, they'd all like you to THINK they're adventure man - jumping off cliffs on bikes, scaling walls of ice, shooting white water rapids on a boogie board. Ugh. What happened to a leisurely hike through the wildflowers?
Give me "normal man" any day.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
LOL That's okay, I had a bit of a "spook" this morning: Sometimes I fall asleep with the TV on, and sometimes, instead of setting the sleep timer, I put the volume down really low. Well, last night, I must have put it down REALLY low, because I could barely hear anything. But all of a sudden, I heard a girl's voice in my room, and I started to freak out for a second...then I realized it was the TV. LOL
Sorry for the threadjack by the way...I'll post this then I won't get "off topic" anymore on this thread. :)
I've been at the online thing a long, long time.
:: I won't bring up sex at all in a profile, either. That's a huge no-no. It screams "easy" and I don't want just any man to know my sexual preferences. Besides, I think my mom reads the ads.
I have to say first that I loved the very last line. Considering I talk to my mom about most parts of my life (sometimes more in generalities) but I am able to talk with her much easier EVER than my dad.
Not saying to talk about sex in the profile but to KNOW who you are and the TYPE of match that is going to compliment you -- not to get into a relationship (like I was) and find out that some major part of the quotient is missing -- the intimacy in many levels that I wanted.
I noticed you did not elaborate here either on your sexual preferences -- Yeap - I am in a great mood - had her son's confirmation banquet tonight and then this weekend is more activities for him... Being 15 brings many new experiences -- the best is when he said that he does not want to wear a suit on Sunday -- we BOTH said in unison that it was a good thing he was not in-charge yet. :) He just gave us "that" smirk. Oh well. :)
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