Ugh :P

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Ugh :P
43
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 1:52am
Today has been rough. My "best" friend and I had plans for her to come over my house for lunch, but she was supposed to get back to me on the time and other details. I never heard from her. She has blown me off the last 3 times we tried to get together, and there were other issues I won't go into here, so this morning I ended our friendship. Then tonight I went to a birthday party of another friend, and I was feeling lonely so I dressed up, hoping to meet someone. But everyone at the party was either married or gay. I ended up drinking too much and leaving early to go home and wallow. I'm in the mood where I want to text every ex and tell him off. At least I didn't drink enough to do that. I did type one text, but I stopped myself right before hitting send. Ha, is it sad that I consider that evidence of my growth? Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. Little steps of progress, I guess. I think I've been single for waaaay to long - it's making me crazy and bitter. I think I need some single friends my own age, but their hard to find. It's not like I can put a profile online or pick one up in a bar. How does one find friends as an adult, anyway?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:02am

Of course I know that no one knows if I'm traveling--unless they start to talk to me, which would kind of be the point of going out.  I don't want to go to a restaurant or bar & be so totally by myself that I wouldn't talk to someone.  so then if I did, they'd start talking about the normal things, like where do you live--so then if I liked the person, I wouldn't want to lie and then you just feel so funny saying that you're from the area & out alone.  Like floridagirl, I could go out to lunch or a museum or festival alone.  That's why I think meetup groups are such a great idea--you're going out alone, but not--you get to find a group and at least talk to the other people there.  I remember one time I was going to meet a friend at a singles dance--we each drove our own cars since she was bringing a friend & they had gone out to eat first.  So I got there at the arranged time & called her on the cell phone & she didn't answer (she was in the bathroom) and then I left my phone in my coat pocket cause I didn't want to carry a purse, so when she called me back I didn't have my phone.  It was only a few minutes, but I really felt self conscious.  I did go to the bar & get a drink and I was walking around to see if she was there cause there were a lot of people--I had paid cause I thought she might be there already.  There were a lot of people who seemed to be regulars.  I was getting anxiety and thinking that if she didn't come in 1/2 hr I would probably go home--thankfully she did come. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:06am

I think part of the fun of traveling is sharing the experience with someone.  I'm sure if I went somewhere alone I could certainly find enough to do during the day if it was a city--I'd visit all the tourist attractions & museums, etc.  But I might have trouble at night--like I said above, would I have the nerve to go to a bar alone?  Would I want to go to a nice restaurant alone?  Maybe someday I should try it just for the experience.  I know they have travel packages especially for women and i think that would be easier than just going on a group tour that could be couples & families.  A friend of mine went to Europe a couple of times alone, but on a tour & had fun--but she was young then so I think in that situation, if you had a middle aged couple, they kind of "adopted" her or she'd meet other single women her age.  A "{singles" trip--you never know--would the people all be 20's & 30's?  Would the guys be obnoxious & trying to have sex with all the women?  It's hard to tell how that would go.  I think even on a singles trip I'd try to get another single woman to go with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: demontespan
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 4:02pm

A "{singles" trip--you never know--would the people all be 20's & 30's?  Would the guys be obnoxious & trying to have sex with all the women?  It's hard to tell how that would go.

@Music, have you thought of going on a "themed" trip/tour alone?  There are archeological trips, wine tasting trips, etc.  Several years ago I went on a horse-riding trip alone in Europe, and met 5 other riders (3 women, 2 men) ranging from mid-thirties to early fifties, all accomplished professionals from several different countries.  Since we are educated (all but one are multi-lingual) and shared common interests - riding and a bit of European history (basically we rode from one castle to another, and most of the time staying in the castles), it was a lot of fun, very civilized, and absolutely no hanky panky. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 7:39pm

Ha, ha--who says I wouldn't like some hanky panky?  That sounds pretty interesting although I wouldn't like horse riding (or a bicycle trip, that I've read about) but I'm sure if people look around enough they could find interesting trips to go on.  I do have friends available for travel if I want to go and we can find the money at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: freeatlast2008
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:15pm

Yes Music why not go on one of those intellectual trips where all of the smart people go.. Make sure though it says no dummies allowed and everyone that goes must show their college diploma.. or their Masters degree.and wear clothes from Bloomingdales...

Oh; by the way darling I am going on a trip to the Hood in NY.. Want to go? We can drink ripple all day and hang out with the homies..and then steal some cars.... Now wouldnt that be fun???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: demontespan
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 12:27am

Ha, ha--who says I wouldn't like some hanky panky?

Oh, I thought you were worried that some young buck is trying to have sex with everyone!  ;-) 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 8:24am

Then you just say your friends all bailed on you and you didn't feeling like sitting at home, so you came anyway.  Would you judge someone harshly just because they were alone?  If it's not something you want to do, then no biggie.  But I hate to see you hold yourself back just because of what someone else might think.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 2:26pm

I don't know if I'd enjoy hanging around w/ too many smart people.  lol  I remember my BIL was so jealous in a way because he found out I could have joined MENSA if I wanted to--apparently if you got a certain number on your SATs I guess you could qualify w/o taking a test.  My feeling was why would I want to join--I don't need to go around bragging to people about how smart I am (although in a way I just did).  I do like intellectual conversations some times but I like having fun too. An old friend of mine who didn't go to college & cleaned houses for a living asked me why I would be friends with her --but I pick my friends by their personalities not by what they do or where they went to school.  I know you weren't serious about that.  So how about going to NYC to go shopping or something--oh yeah, I don't have any money to do that right now.  Maybe if I come into some $$.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 3:35pm

I guess at certain singles events they might have an atmosphere of the fact that everybody is generally supposed to be hooking up which I would find uncomfortable and sleazy, but it's not that I wouldn't be open to possible romance even with a younger man.  You should have seen the gorgeous 30 yr old  I met on my last vacation--unfortunately nothing happened other than a hug. :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 3:35pm

That's an idea I never thought of--making stuff up!  lol