Ugh why did I bother?
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|Thu, 11-08-2012 - 3:52pm|
Before I get to my question/rant/comment/whatever let me just say that I hope all the East Coasters and their loved ones are hanging in there during this next round of storms.
So I decided to give online dating a try again. Every new single chick friend I worked to hard to spend the last year meeting met some dude online and has disappeared. *sigh* So there must be good ones hiding right? I've tried every other viable option to meet someone anyway so I might as well give online dating another go.
Guy #1 was definitely an eager beaver right out the gate. He made a really nice introduction and then closed with asking for a date. That's weird right? Yeah I thought so. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and replied clearly attempting to get to know him better and indicating that we could wait a bit on a date. He didn't even know my name yet lol. Then he proceeded to send several emails each only a few minutes apart asking when we were going to go out, if I was ok with xyz place, if time a was better than time b for me, etc. Wow creepy. I just hit delete and put him out of my mind. Then a few days later he emails asking what happened and what made me stop talking with him? I opted to honestly (yet politely) answer his question to which he responded saying he appreciated that info and wished me luck in my search. A nice ending to a creepy start with an early 30s guy.
Guy #2 appears to have limited conversational skills and uses his emails to talk at me in brief sentences rather than talk to me. He didn't bother to even learn my name, but asked me out for a drink. I declined his drink offer, to which he countered with dinner and asked for my name. Trying hard not to be judgemental I chalked it up to general nerves/awkwardness and made a light joke out of the name thing. Then I provided my number and suggested we actually try talking (note I said talking, not texting) and go from there. Simple enough right? So then yesterday I get a few weird text messages blabbering on about mundane things like running errands, exercising, and general nonsense. I had no idea who they were from since no name or intro was provided, I didn't know the number, and the city that number is from is one I don't go to and don't know anyone from so I ignored them figuring they were sent in error. Then this guy sends me an email today saying he tried texting me yesterday and didn't hear from me. I guess he's the mystery weirdo lol. I'm torn between pointing out his idiocy and just hitting delete. He's in his early 30s so there really isn't an excuse for poor communication skills, but for now I'm simply doing nothing until my annoyance subsides.
Guy #3 is also in his early 30s and his email conversation is good. We seem to have plenty in common and he's cute so I figured things were going to progress. So his next email asks if I'd like to move from emailing to texting. Huh? Ok now I get that I have made plenty of rants on here about how I loathe texting and I don't give a rats rear that it is all the rage so I'll refrain from getting on that soapbox. I will however say this. Texting is not a move forward from emailing, it is a lateral move. It is essentially the same impersonal communication style with a ridiculously small character limit. Ok end rant, soapbox not needed. I just replied saying I wasn't much of a texter, but he was welcome to call me sometime and provided my number. I fully expected to never hear from this guy so I put him out of my mind. Then he emails going on about how he never calls anyone because he thinks texting is easier. Ok that's fine and I didn't bother replying. Then he later sends me a text (seriously?!) saying he knows I'm not a texter, but he wanted to say hi and hopes to hear from me. *eye roll* Again I'm waiting for my annoyance to subside before deciding what to do if anything.
Guy #4 is in his mid 30s and our email chatter went so well he actually asked for my number and called. Thank heavens, one of them gets it. Things continued to go well and he asked me on a date. An actual date, not out for a drink or coffee, but a proper date. After getting myself all foxy I'm on my way to meet him thinking oh heavens if he's ambitious and has old fashioned manners I'll marry him on the spot. So the date starts out good and there are indeed old fashioned manners. Then I'm halfway through my entree and he drops this oh-by-the-way-I-have-a-16yo-kid bomb. Huh? Ok I get that some guys in their mid 30s will have kids, but I wasn't expecting teenagers. While I don't desire a single dad it was nice to hear that he is an active parent even though the kid doesn't live with him. He even made a comment about women always writing him off when they find out he has a kid without learning that his kid is nearly an adult and he a healthy relationship with his ex. That made me feel a bit guilty so I didn't make a run for it lol. Then I learned that he has zero career ambition. He has made it by all these years hopping from job to job, many of which are not well paying and are often seasonal. Now I get that he works as much as he has to in order to support his kid and I think that is great, but my issue is that he doesn't have a desire for anything more. He even described himself as the kind of person who has all these great ideas on jobs/businesses that he'd be great at, but he has no follow through. He's totally fine just getting by. I'm flabbergasted, but he's totally in his right to stay that way. There will not be a second date however.
Then of course there are dozens of other early to mid 30s guys emailing cheesy one liners, trying to get laid, sending messages so poorly spelled I can't read them, and just making stupid comments in general. I get that dating is tough at any age, but I swear guys were not this socially inept when I was a 20something. If this is really what's left for me at 30 the only option left is going to be to hire a male escort to take me to events (no not for sex!) and go places with. If I'm paying them I can demand that they not text, have old fashioned manners, and only say smart things right?