Is this unreasonable?
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| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 1:20am |
I finally talked to the goober today, after sending him an email breaking things off last Thursday. It turns out that he just wasn't that into me and lost interest in pursuing me. He actually said that he tried to make himself interested, I'm a great girl and he doesn't understand why it just wasn't there for him, yada yada. Arghhh! The worst thing is, this is almost the EXACT break up line that my other ex delivered. Someone please tell me that this is just the standard guy breakup and it doesn't mean there is a common thread here and it's all me!
Anyway, he said he really still wanted to be friends and that he felt the relationship had fizzled down to that, anyway. He also said that he didn't see me as a romantic connection, except for the sex, but he could turn that off no problem and we could still go on our merry little way being the best of friends.
What really sucks is that we WERE really good friends. And, honestly, I lost interest in him on a romantic level, as well. Now that I think about it, the only reason I would have continued seeing him would have been for the friendship. It got to the point that when I was with him I had to remind myself that we had a "thing". BTW - he sort of has that gay guy friend thing about him and that's how I started to see him toward the end. I mean, I would talk to him about girl stuff, including other guys. It was very wierd, but it worked somehow. But his blunt rejection of me really stings and I just cannot bring myself to continue this friendship. I think I'm mostly mad that he just faded away while leading me on at the same time. If I hadn't sent him that email he would have just continued to lead me on.
He was really upset when I told him that I just couldn't even think about being friends and I didn't want to discuss it anymore. Then I hung up the phone. I don't feel like I lost a boyfriend, I feel like I lost a friend. But, dammit, I'm mad about this whole thing! Am I being unreasonable? What would you do?

If he could just turn off the sex part, then you two wouldn't have had trouble keeping your clothes on.
No, you aren't being unreasonable. I don't have an interest in doing the friends thing but I definitely would not be interested if he dumped me. Not that you were dumped, but you see where I am going.
It does sting!? Rejection is not fun, there is no way around it. I have been lucky in that, I am very immature and when I start to feel that the relationship is going south, I am the one who ends it, LOL. Then, I avoid the guy for so long that I almost forget he exists. I think I've only stuck around long enough to be dealt "the blow" once or twice. I don't like the long, drawn out excuse approach either (remember, I admitted that I am immature). It's over, it's done, I'm out ; )
I'm sorry that this happened. I realize that you two were friends first which, does make it a little different. Could it be that you will change your mind after a few months?