Unromantic men
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| Wed, 04-11-2007 - 12:51am |
What ever happened to the courteous gesture of a man bringing a woman flowers for a date? Or sending them to her office after a date to say that he had a wonderful time? Don't men court women anymore?
Am I crazy because I consider no flowers a deal breaker? Or does this make me high maintenance?
I've pretty much come to the conclusion that men either don't do the flower thing anymore, or there must be something about me that makes me seem too independent for such a sweet gesture. But maybe I just attract selfish men who never wonder what THEY can do to assure me that they like me.
Then again, tonight I called my goober (still not sure about him or his intentions, so until further notice he is still my goober :P) and he answered his phone, even though he was on a major deadline for work and only had an hour to get it sent. But he took a few minutes to pick up his phone and tell me that he would call as soon as he's finished. And then last night he called me while he was working. Again, he couldn't talk long, but he just had to tell me a funny story. We shared a wonderful laugh, then we hung up so he could get back to work. Now, that's romantic in it's own way, right? He's a workaholic, but I've never felt like he has put work ahead of me. Then again, he has never actually said that he wants to be with me. I have to assume because he calls me that he must like me. He has never given me pretty words or pretty flowers. Heck, he's never even been affectionate unless sex was a possibility. And he hasn't taken me on a real date since our first date 2 months ago. Yet, he has cooked me dinner and we are at that comfortable stage where we can hang out at each others houses. But, darnit, I just want him to look me in the eye and tell me how he feels about me. Otherwise, I'm assuming he doesn't feel anything. Is that so off base? Am I high maintenance for wanting true romantic gestures and words?
On the other hand, I had the pretty words and confessions of undying love. I was in a whirlwind romance and was completely swept off my feet with the kind of "love" you find in romance novels. But in the end that relationship fizzled out and it ended horribly. Are the semi-romantic activities of my new guy more in line with the stuff that makes up long term relationships? Or do you think the pretty words and flowers are more substantial?
I interested in hearing what you guys think...

I think expecting flowers is a little too much this early.
I have found that if you don't allow men to court you they won't.
If you immediately get into the hanging out at one person's house or the other, sex, and no actual dates than they don't have to woo (impress) you with flowers and nice gestures because your already sleeping with them and already in that comfort level. I think getting into that comfort level too soon takes the courting out of a dating relationship.
If you want the courtship, don't have dates at their house, have him take you out, don't sleep with them too soon, let them woo you a little, let them prove they are a great guy instead of labeling them a great guy first and finding out later they aren't so great after all.
That's been my experience in the dating world. The men I "hung out with" never really tried and the ones that I "dated" did.
Smile,
Deirdre
Flowers? What are flowers?
Mark