Unwelcome blast from past

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Unwelcome blast from past
17
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 2:56pm

Why do me exes seem to know right when they should come back and mess with my head? I just start to get excited about someone new, then...

Wham! The guy who broke my heart last year feels the need to write me out of the blue nowhere and fill me in on his life, including the fact that he's dating someone new. But, he wants to see me as friends and do I want to get together for a drink? What purpose does that serve? Does he want to hurt me?

I am so frustrated at myself that I even chose to open the e-mail in the first place. I should have made that an automatic delete. I'm trying not to let it ruin my day, but it does sting. It's like he had to announce that he found someone better than me.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 3:32pm

Ugh, sorry to hear that. Yes, it sounds like it's time to block him...blocking is your friend ;-).

It will pass...I know it stings but in a day or two it'll be old news. Hang in there...

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 4:30pm
I know, I know.
It always seems to happen when you least expect it too.
I agree with Sheri. Let some time pass and it'll be a memory. You'll be okay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 8:33pm

Thanks, ladies.

For some reason, this guy really affected me, and I don't think he ever really knew how much he hurt me. I think he thought he could come back and I'd be all buddy buddy as if nothing ever happened. Sometimes I wish I could be like that, but my heart just doesn't forget like that. I've never been able to do the friends thing.

It will pass. You're right. I am going to just go home and take care of me tonight.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 8:46pm
As a suggestion, perhaps you have not dealt properly with the fact that you were hurt....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 10:03pm
Ugh, what a pain. I don't understand things like this. I hope you deleted the email anyway. You'll get past it but I know it sucks to have things drudged up after having already spent time getting over it.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 12:03am

I feel for ya!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 2:00am

even though I am a guy I have had something similar happen to me.

For 3-4 years(it seems like a decade though) I was in an off and on relationship with a girl I was crazy about and she would hurt me and leave then come back and I was too weak to resist and we broke up and got back together 4 different times before it was finally over for good. Don't fall into that sort of cycle it is an endless series of pain and emotional distress beyond compare. Even though I havent seen or heard from this girl in 4 years I still think about her and she still gets me upset. Forget about him, as hard as that may be and you may never actually forget but if you cut off contact it will make ti easier. If you see him email you or call or whatever just ignore it, I was too weak and in love(at least I thought) to do it and it hurt me more then anything ever hurt me before or since. Cut him off and move on, you'll be happier later then sooner but in the long run you will be glad you did it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 2:27am

TallGirl,

That dude sucks!! I hate it when they do that!! My friend went to a wedding this weekend that I knew one of my exes would be at. I told her not to tell him a word and she didnt. They don't need to know, anymore than they need to tell you as far as Im concerned. What a jerk!! I hope you feel better today and his insensitivity and callousness should show that you're WAAAY better off.

Sorry Tall Girl for hijacking your thread:

But SS (super sexy, not anti-sexy...I wont play into the name because I dont believe it)...

That post right there...that just defined (at least for me) what exactly your entire problem with women and your self-depreciation comes from. That right there.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 3:29am

Super sexy?....You must have me mistaken with Brad Pitt. lol

This girl I spoke of was an old girlfriend from a long time ago and when I met her I was insecure and I was insecure throughout our relationship and it drove her away. She's not the cause of it, if I had to pinpoint it, it might be my parents divorce(my mom cheated) that occured around the same time as my relationship with this girl. I dont blame myself for her playing me though because she played me and cheated in the end as well.

I could go on about this stuff for hours so Ill end it there but I have always been insecure with women, other thigns have added on to it but I have always had confidence problems with the opposite sex. If you can believe me I have always been confident with everything else in my life-work, school, sports,etc. I border on cocky in everything except this stuff...I dont know why.

I blabber on too much...lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 3:31am

I have taken over this thread...I am so sorry tallgirl...post as soon as you have decided what to do about this guy.

P.S. I dont want to be pushy but IGNORE HIM....lol sorry

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