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| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 1:49pm |
Update on my silly gym guy saga...
Saw him again last night for the first time since the embarrassing incident two weeks ago where he approached me and I choked.
Last night, I worked up the nerve to go up to him and introduce myself and we had a nice, short chat/flirt (I was on my way out the door, so we didn't talk long). So, here's to small victories!
The ball's now in his court, so we'll see. I'm just proud of myself for getting over my shyness and embarrassment.
I'll keep you all posted. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to try, try again. I'm really glad I did. :)

I'm so glad you found the nerve to do that. What a good feeling! And just think how much easier it will be if you find yourself in a situation like that again.
Good for you!
Hey colo-tallo,
Right on…, I’m glad to hear you took that one small step for man (get it?..., for a man)…., that one giant leap for womankind…,
…, really I have to laugh at how complicated you women make it sound. I’ve been in this guys shoes a million times…, we see a babe we’re attracted to…, she smiles at us.., so we take our time watching her, looking for any sign she might be attracted to us…, then one day she says “hi” at the water fountain and that’s all we need to give the go ahead.., so I up and walk to her and say anything to start a convo.., and she chokes just like you did on the machine.., then we walk away and say to ourselves she was just being nice because she showed no interest in me whatsoever…,
…, guys face rejection hundreds of times…, sometimes the women are nice about it and say “sorry I have a boyfriend”…, or immediately start talking about their boyfriends…, sometimes the women are nasty and tell you to get lost.., or “nice try buddy”…, but for the most part men take all this without any personal loss of self esteem…, it’s not me…,it’s her…,
…, I mean really.., put yourself in our shoes.., could you go up to a guy you’ve just seen and introduce yourself?..., could you talk with him for 10 minutes or so and get his interest?..., could you then ask for his home number and make sure you get all the info written down…, could you then call him a couple days later and shoot the shyt for a while and then ask for a date…, could you then arrange the date and try to make sure everything goes off in a good light?...., I don’t think women give us enough credit for what we go through…, and you certainly don’t carry your half of the burden…, no that solely rests on the shoulders of men..., no wonder we’re given broad muscular shoulders!!
…, I think more women should start helping in the dating game instead of remaining moot or trying to act all aloof or crap like that…, and one last thing…, if a guy asks for your number and you really have no intention of talking to him.., don’t give him the number…, nothing makes you look more like a flake or just a rude bytch than to get a message from us and never return it!!!
:-)
I understand the burden placed on guys' shoulders. That's part of the reason I felt so bad for choking in the first place, because I really am attracted to this guy and would love to go out with him - and didn't give that impression the first time around.
It's complicated for us because we haven't TRADITIONALLY been the ones who have to make the first move (I know there have been exceptions to that rule since the beginning of time - but on the whole...). This is untested water for many of us - including me. Although I have asked out one or two guys in my time, I much prefer the guy to do the asking.
I agree that women should at least make it known that we're interested and available. But, I have also heard from countless men that they like the chase and would prefer to do the pursuing. Are you telling me that's not the case? Would it be better if we chased you?
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Truthfully I’ve had aggressive women chase me and I liked it!! They were also very aggressive in bed which I liked too!!!...,
But for the most part it’s not really a chase but an obsession…, I’ve heard people call it a chase many times and always thought that was misleading.., it’s more like having a spell cast over you.., you see this woman and something about her looks does it for you…, the way she walks…, tosses her hair to the side as she drinks from the water fountain…, after talking a little to her you just become engrossed…,
…, you think about her constantly and all the dreams you’ve ever had about happiness come flooding in as daydreams with her in the center…, you are driven to talk to her, be with her.., poetry can fill your mind…, even your friends say you’ve changed.
So yes…, it is best to let the men do the chasing…, but you’re part is to flirt, and touch, and show him you are interested in him and want to be with him…, even before the fact, you need to send some clear signal that you like him…, smiles aren’t enough.
When he came up to you on the machine the answer should have been something like “I was hoping you could show me if I’m doing this right..., you look like you know all about this stuff”…., this tells him a) you want to talk to him, and b) you’ve been watching him…, he would have taken that ball and run with it.
Ok, I know. I have beat myself up enough for not saying the right thing at that moment.
My brain works faster than my mouth, and they tend to be at odds with each other. That's why I posted the whole silly story here in the first place -- I'm trying to get better at the whole available/approachable/flirting thing. (I was in a relationship for five years, so I got used to not flirting or wanting to be approached by men. I am just relearning how to do that).
Yes, I think the guy should do the chasing. I think it takes the fun out of it for me and for the guy if I'm the aggressive one.
AJ, enjoying life with C.