Update on the cop

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Update on the cop
6
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 7:33pm
Well, the cop I met last week never called, although he kept telling our mutual friend that he intended to call me. I saw him again last night. We met up at his place before going out. He had to work so didn't go with us (me, the mutual friend, and the cop's roommate), but hung out with us for about an hour. He seemed kind of nervous and I was too. When he and his roommate went upstairs, my friend was trying to convince me to stay behind for a minute as we were leaving and just ask him out. Being the big chicken that I am, I of course told my friend that I couldn't do it. So, my friend went upstairs and tried to send the guy down to talk to me, but discovered he was dealing with two chickens, not just one. In talking with the roommate later in the evening, I found out that he too thought I had a chance with the cop, but I'll probably have to give in and call him. So, how do I get over this total fear of rejection and just do it?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 9:07pm
Well, I wouldn't ask him, but that's just me. I'd hate to get to the first kiss and the first make out session, and the first proposal, etc. and have to do it b/c he doesn't have the cahones to do it. Instead, I'd just let him know good and well that I'm interested. Maybe call and talk to him, but don't ask him out. Get the conversation started- maybe tell him how much fun you had that night when he had to work, and mention that you wished he had been there. Ask him what his weekend plans are, and mention yours, being sure to tell him you have a free night. Leave him open, and if he doesn't ask, just pass on him. He's gonna have to get over it someday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-25-2003 - 10:15am
I think you are right - do not ask this person out - he knows you are interested and he is an adult - if he doesn't ask you out it is because he is not sufficiently interested or he is incredibly insecure (he knows you are interested - it is a sure thing - but yet he won't ask?? do you really want that to be a theme of your relationship??)- and I'm sure you don't want either of those scenarios - unless you just want a quickie fling.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-25-2003 - 12:03pm
Ok, I'm totally confused...I thought guy #2 (the one who actually *called* you last week) was the cop's roommate??? If so, why are you dissing the guy who's interested in you by talking to him about his roommate? Or did you find out that he (guy #2) is really not interested?

Please explain ;-)!

Sheri

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-26-2003 - 5:34pm
Well, I opened my mouth to guy #2 because I had a bit too much to drink and didn't realize what a stupid move it was at the time. There's a bit more to the story of Friday night....I had way too much to drink. Guys kept buying me drinks and I didn't realize just how much they were affecting me. Well, guy #2 eventually decided it was time to go. My car was at his house, but he knew I wasn't able to drive so, he took me back to his place and held my hair while I threw up then gave me his room and went and slept in guy #1's room. When he had to go out in the morning and I was still sick, he came in with water, the phone and his cell phone number so I could call him if I needed anything. By then, guy #1 was home and sleeping, but well aware of the fact that I had gotten sick. When I eventually got up to leave, he teased me a bit about my rough night, but we really didn't talk much. So, like an idiot, I still didn't realize which guy was the best choice for me and called #1 last night. We had a really awkward conversation and it really hit me that it was purely a physical attraction thing and I have nothing in common with him. So, I started thinking more about guy #2 and thought about how much we have in common and how sweet he was while I was sick and I'm wondering if I blew any chance of having anything with him. I called him Sunday morning and thanked him for taking such good care of me and he told me to call him later in the week to make arrangements for him to come out to my house to help me out with something. This was after I had asked about his roommate and he had seen me in the rather unflattering position in front of the toilet. I'm not sure if he's just a nice guy and wants to be friends (although going through this much effort is kind of odd for only having known each other for a little over a week) or if he's interested in me despite the fact that I was an idiot and asked about his roommate. I think my only hope at this point is to wait until I see him later in the week and not mention his roommate at all and just see if there really is any sort of attraction there. I'm kicking myself for behaving like such an idiot and letting myself be blinded by a physical attraction and not pay enough attention to a really great guy.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-26-2003 - 5:45pm
All I can say is...How Embarrassing!! My newly discovered trick for finding out exactly how much alcohol is effecting me is to make sure I walk around every once in awhile. I never feel it if I'm sitting still. It seems like it takes less and less each time too. Another sign is the "diarrhea of the mouth". Then I start kissing people. Funny for everyone else, embarrassing for me. Fortunately, it's been a LONG time since I've been even close to that point.

I think you may still be okay with guy #2. Just don't mention guy #1. Make sure he knows how appreciative you are of his help (ick, I don't know if I could've been there for ya). Sounds to me like he has more confidence than guy #1. That's always a good thing!

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-26-2003 - 5:55pm
Well, fortunately, I don't start kissing people when I'm drunk. I do tend to flirt a bit more, but I don't think I was even doing that. I was with a really fun crowd, so I was just standing around talking with them until we left. I didn't realize how drunk I was until I sat down in the car. I so rarely drink that it really didn't take much alcohol to affect me and I didn't even notice the effects. Fortunately, I waited to get sick until I got back to their house. While being sick wasn't fun, it did help open my eyes to the guy I was overlooking.