Ups of Being Single?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Ups of Being Single?
10
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 7:37pm
Can someone give me a reasn why it is good to be single?

Mandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 11:37pm
Just go to the other message boards called "Finding Mr Right" and "Prince or Player" - you'll find 100's of posts with reasons why being single is GREAT!! You have none of the problems listed in the posts!!!

:-D
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-02-2003 - 7:59am
It is good to be single if the alternative is being in a relationship in which you feel lonely. Don't focus on single/attached - it is good to be you - and figure out why that is. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 10:50am
1. privacy (nobody snooping through your stuff or walking in on you when you want to be alone)

2. freedom (to come and go as your please)

3. harmony (nobody around to fight with)

4. less work (you don't have to clean up after someone else, run errands for them, etc.)

5. more time (to see movies YOU like, to listen to music YOU like or to engage in any activities that interest YOU)

I don't think that being single is better than being married or vice versa. I think they both have advantages and disadvantages that you have to learn to deal with. Iri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 12:43am
Well, put it this way: being single is okay, if you're strong enough. It's certainly nothing to ASPIRE to, and it really shouldn't be maintained any longer than necessary. So, if you are in a relationship now that is mostly great, save for a few normal arguments and such, then keep it.

To the other poster who gave the list of reasons to be single: those are true, and that's a very good thing to say. But honestly, while I'm listening to the music that I want to listen to right now, I'm wishing I had someone else to listen to it with, or to dance to it with. Not out of loneliness or desperation, but just because it would be nice to share my interests with someone who has some of the same interests.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 11:28am
Yep, we have a whole list.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsinglelovi&msg=3185.1

Being in a relationship isn't the #1 goal of everyone, and it really shouldn't be. I'm guessing you're young, and you'll realize that in time. Just focus on yourself, your life, and your goals, and the realization will come with time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Tue, 08-05-2003 - 9:14pm
There were some great suggestions posted Mandy. Although we all need alone time, use it in a positive way. Read a book, volunteer for community service, etc. We need to live a purpose driven life to be content singles. Search your heart for your passions in life, then take action and you will find fulfillment regaurdless of your age.

We humans are designed for growing through friendships. Meet all the people you can, in a SAFE enviroment! Don't be too concerned if they aren't your own age. Talk to people who have your interests and feel the same way about things as you do. Make some new friends and enjoy single life. For many of us whom want to marry some day, take the time to learn who you are deep inside, and learn how to select a life partner. They don't teach us how to give or recieve love in school, and all to often, not at home either.

Learn, Relate and Discover.

Scott

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 1:20am
Gee, how much focusing on our goals do we really need? I do so much of that, I now have at least five possible ways my life could play out.

If all I'm going to have in my life between now and the time I turn 30 (or whatever age society deems us young chicks old and wiser) is get my BS and Master's, travel to Europe, and "focus on my goals" then I might as well dye my hair gray and speed up the aging process. At least I'll look old enough to have reached my sexual prime, right.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 11:35am
Focusing on goals is important because women who focus on finding a husband are desperate. Desperation leads to settling for a man who isn't worthy of our love, which leads to unhappiness. If you live your life in the here and now, focusing on what you want for yourself, not focusing on how awful it is to not have a boyfriend, then you become a happy person and that is what attracts the men.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a boyfriend and wanting to get married. There is nothing wrong with looking, being friendly, and flirting, but focusing on it while excluding all other goals is dangerous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Fri, 08-08-2003 - 1:51pm
However, isn't it just as much of a crime to ignore one's personal needs while being so goal-oriented and ambitious? Somehow, I thought that one could do both at the same time, but those of you who have more "life experience" are saying that one must choose between one or the other. So which is it?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 08-08-2003 - 5:45pm
No one ever said ignore men or don't date. What we're saying is that letting the pursuit of a boyfriend consume your life only creates desperation. There is a time when focusing on finding a husband can be appropriate, but that certainly isn't at 17 or even 21. It's when you've already explored life a little. Yes, you can date and work and have other hobbies, but it's FOCUSING on the man hunt that is dangerous.