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|Fri, 10-18-2013 - 7:34am|
Can there be anything worse? I'm a believer in letting the man pursue me in the beginning, but that has been sorely tested this week. I've really examined my situation from many different angles, talked to four girlfriends about it, but have come out the other side with the same conclusion: let him make the call.
Oh, the anguish! All the self doubt: did I act interested enough? Did this-or-that turn him off? And of course: Is he seeing someone else? Oh, the list goes on, the arguments become more and more circular. The fact is, I don't think you'll really mess things up by calling a guy who hasn't called you after a date if he's truly attracted. I always like to think it's already decided, that the river flows, and you can jump in the water and splash around all you want, but the outcome will most likely be the same.
I ran across a good online article (oh, yes, I read a few, you know me) and I thought this was good by Debi Berndt:
When you feel the need to pursue, ask yourself why? Why wouldn’t he be banging down your door to see you again if you had such a great connection? Why would you settle for anything less? Choose to believe that you are the prize. You should never have to wonder how he feels about you. A healthy partner won’t hide or play games, he will be a grown man who knows when he has a good thing and will let you know with consistent communication.
But it's d--mned hard when you feel you have a connection with someone. But I have to remember: just because I feel a connection doesn't mean he does. And it doesn't mean there's a thing in the world wrong with me or anything I did or didn't do.