Want him to be best friend ONLY..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Want him to be best friend ONLY..
2
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 6:27pm
I am in a very very difficult situation right now. I have become extremely great friends with a guy named Carl. He has openly expressed how much he likes me and how much he wants a relationship with me, however I only want to be best friends with him.

I have told him exactly how I feel and that I need the single life for a while - he has agreed that he`ll wait if I change my mind and that its great to be best friends. There seems to be a very obvious obstacle with this because he always tells me "jokingly" that i`m going to fall in love with him etc....I know he is saying it to pick on me but I also see it as serious. It is interfering in allowing myself to see him as only a friend and I desperately want to be best friends with him - he`s amazingly great!!

I have told him straight out - there will be no romantic relationship right now. I slowly am seeing myself pulling away from any kind of relationship with him because I feel I am betraying him by being his friend while knowing he is falling in love with me - I don`t know what to do!! Stop talking to him - Or just deal with it?

- Athalia

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 6:50pm
He clearly has not "heard" you. If he had, he wouldn't be saying that you'll change your mind, etc.

You need to tell him, clearly and unequivocably, that you are NOT going to change your mind, that he is a dear platonic friend but that is ALL you are ever going to be. If he continues to make those remarks, then I think you'll need to distance yourself until he stops.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 8:01pm
I think you need to back off - friendship is about equality and sharing - right now you're on different wavelengths and he can't be open with you about his feelings without you feeling distant.