Wanting Relationship Grief
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 11-29-2006 - 9:11pm |
Ok, tell me if anyone else has this problem: you mention how you'd like to find a good man and get into a serious relationship and what you get back is how being single is better, how you need to be happy with yourself first, how being in a relationship shouldn't define you, how everyone else is single and happy and basically a million and one reasons why you wanting a great relationship makes you lame and how you should focus on other things.
That is all I get. Its to the point where I can't talk about it with anyone anymore for fear that they will judge me as weak and lacking. Apparently, I should be happy single and forget about it. Easy said than done.
Since when has it become so unpopular to want love? Why has it gone out of style? Are we suppose to be so independent these days that desiring love and affection makes you an automatic loser?

Pages
Good grief! I can't believe you are getting such a negative reaction because you want to find and feel love. How exactly is being single better? I am sure that the people giving you this advice have been badly bruised by love and refuse to believe that it exists. Now, being single does let you do what you want, when you want it and enjoy the liberty of going out and flirting without the guilt. That said, I would like to point out that having some one that loves you and shares a common interest can be just as exciting and rewarding.
What other things should you focus on? A career? Saving the world? Honey, you can do all of that and still be in a relationship. A relationship does not define who you are. YOU and only YOU define who you are. Personally, I am insulted that people are telling you to focus on other things. Does this mean that if you were in a relationship you would not be able to enjoy life to the fullest?
Wanting to feel love does not make you weak, lacking or needy. It means that you are human and you want to share your life experiences with some one who will appreciate you and return the affection you seek. You should not be afraid to voice your opinion. People are going to judge you no matter what. The important thing to remember is to always do what feels right to you.
Love is not out of style or unpopular.You are not a loser. I wouldn’t even go as far as to say that all of those people telling you that single is better are losers. I just think that they are misinformed. Love is a wonderful thing when you find the right person. With that said, I should warn you that on your journey you will encounter a few losers, but never lose faith. Oh, and never think of yourself as a loser- that’s definitely out of style.
Have you ever thought of getting therapy? I'm not saying that because I think you are crazy or anything at all. You are NOT.
It is because I've gone through some and it would really help you. Whether you say you really don't want someone to fill your life or not, your need is a bit unhealthy. I'm only saying this because I have a feeling that there are things in your life that need to be set straight and issues that you may not realize need to be addressed.
Believe me, I'm sure there are some issues and it would really help. I am only being sincere here.
Thank you for that wonderful post, ladysneezy (cute name, by the way).
I totally agree - especially with this line: "Love is a wonderful thing when you find the right person. "
Here's to the people who still believe in love, in spite of past hurts. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
xx
Rocklady
You can NOT live a *fabulous life* as you put it, alone, without a caring partner to share this *fabulous life* with, ESPECIALLY aged 30+. My honest opinion.
Rocklady
Maybe *YOU* can't, but I most certainly can, and am!
RL
Just thought I'd interject here before a verbal war ensues. (that weird icon above is supposed to represent "let's calm down.")
I think the thing to remember is honoring another person's viewpoint. Some people can live very happy and fulfilled lives without a partner, some can't. No need to attack each other for falling into different categories on this one.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Pages