Wanting Relationship Grief
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| Wed, 11-29-2006 - 9:11pm |
Ok, tell me if anyone else has this problem: you mention how you'd like to find a good man and get into a serious relationship and what you get back is how being single is better, how you need to be happy with yourself first, how being in a relationship shouldn't define you, how everyone else is single and happy and basically a million and one reasons why you wanting a great relationship makes you lame and how you should focus on other things.
That is all I get. Its to the point where I can't talk about it with anyone anymore for fear that they will judge me as weak and lacking. Apparently, I should be happy single and forget about it. Easy said than done.
Since when has it become so unpopular to want love? Why has it gone out of style? Are we suppose to be so independent these days that desiring love and affection makes you an automatic loser?

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I don't know - maybe I didn't express myself well originally.
I do love being in a relationship. I love the intimacy, the friendship, yeah, the sex - all of it...but I'm not "less than" if I'm not in a relationship...I don't *need* a man to be complete or have a fabulous life...when I do have an SO, he ADDS to that fabulousness, but not having one doesn't detract from that fabulousness.
I think that's even more garbled than my original thoughts. LOL
If you are that way it is definately a blessing and you are very lucky because a lot of women aren't and it's so cool to hear of those that are.
I likebeing single, but missing the marriage life as well. What do you do?
http://thebusinesssuccessgroup.com
Yes, very!
sorry I mistakenly posted this under a different thread..
I too feel the state of union is the norm rather than an abberance. So wanting to be in a RS is perfectly normal. It's not a luxury, not a sign of weakness, and definately not abnormal. I too have wanted to be in a RS for the longest time (try 10 years) and at this time pretty much hopeless about it all. For the past 10 yrs my desire waxes and wanes but over all, it has not gone away. It can't go away. Suppressing it only works for a short time. It's gotten to the point where I just don't want to watch almost all romantic movies (w/ the exception of very few), or movies about happily married people having children. I would go through crying spells and I'm going through one now. Sometimes on the verge of tears when I see a happy couple. I'm from a culture where that is highly valued and at gatherings, espcially reminded of the fact that I'm still unpaired.
I've desensitized myself to V day, diamond rings, and that sort of things so that's progress. I have a great education, a great career but I think the common link is the emotional emptiness. I don't have much emotional connection with my family although they care about me. I have a couple of friends to talk to. Off and on I find things to do to distract me but overall that baseline desire is always there and does not go away.
I see the value of trying to do the best with your situation b/c you can't put your life on hold while waiting b/c it may never happen but God, wouldn't it be nice if it would just happen.
"you're not happy within yourself, then NO man will be attracted to you."
This is not necessarily true.
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