We sleep together, and then we don't
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We sleep together, and then we don't
| Wed, 10-04-2006 - 8:17pm |
i was flattered when my guy started inviting me to stay the night with him, so i wouldn't have to drive home at all hours of the night. and i love nothing better than his presence and his arms around me - how nice then to spend the whole night with him in the bed, right?
his presence, though, is not particularly sleep-inducing for me, so i'm lucky to get a few hours sleep when i stay over, and he doesn't sleep well either.
it does make the nights i stay over feel like a big deal - we are quite hung over the next day, like we'd had a crazy night at the clubs! i kind of think it would be better, though, if we could sleep :)
we probably spend just about one sleepless night with one another a week and we've done this for a few months.
so, i'm curious - will we get used to this and start sleeping better? or should i just look forward to more hangovers?
his presence, though, is not particularly sleep-inducing for me, so i'm lucky to get a few hours sleep when i stay over, and he doesn't sleep well either.
it does make the nights i stay over feel like a big deal - we are quite hung over the next day, like we'd had a crazy night at the clubs! i kind of think it would be better, though, if we could sleep :)
we probably spend just about one sleepless night with one another a week and we've done this for a few months.
so, i'm curious - will we get used to this and start sleeping better? or should i just look forward to more hangovers?

I have the exact same problem!
Part of it is the size of the bed. R and I both have full size beds and its not easy for two grown adults to sleep in a full size bed. Plus we're both strictly fetal sleepers, so we got butts in backs and all kinds of crap going on sometimes. When we have stayed with my parents and in their old queen bed, its much easier and we sleep better. Our first purchase after we marry will be a queen bed.
Honestly though its not a big deal for us. We cuddle for a bit and then just let each other be. I almost always have my arm around him and our ankles or knees linked but other than that, we dont hog each others space too much. He complains more about my pillows than the bed itself. He complains I take up a lot of space (he is slimmer and taller than me, which is part of it) but he also steals the covers from me!!
You will get used to it eventually. Its just about having another person in bed with you and learning to share space and covers. Plus while its nice to cuddle up and be close...sometimes its just better to roll over and be on your own. There is always time to cuddle in the morning!
(i like the first-initial thing for your significant other - very jane austen! hope you don't mind if i highjack it)
i've also had the june cleaver separate-bed idea come to mind - it's funny that for a moment or two, i actually seriously considered it for my future!
P suggested we take drugs before bedtime - that's the only possible solution i have right now :) hopefully it does get better - i imagine once marraige or living together happens, constant deprivation will lead to sleep in the face of adversity. glad to know i'm not the only one, though!
i do hope that practice makes perfect.
we have gotten over the need to cuddle all night, but the presence factor still keeps sleep elusive. i only sleep for maybe an hour at a time, and once i wake up, it is so hard to go back to sleep.
i sometimes wonder if it's like a little form of performance anxiety - i want so much to successfully sleep that i can't relax and let go. forget worrying about orgasms - this is way harder!
anyways, i'm glad to hear of your sleep success with R - i'm glad it's possible. i mean, of course it is, but sometimes now i wonder :)
I think it's tough when you're only sharing a bed once a week because the other 6 nights you're alone! I dated someone for a year and we would only sleep over on weekends, and it would ALWAYS take us one night to get used to it and then Saturday night would be fine. Of course by the next weekend we had to adjust again.
Try taking a benedryl, that's basically what's in all those sleep aides. The antihistimine is what will make you sleepy and if you're only taking one or two once a week it's not a big deal.